


A Dime a Dozen

by hsilence



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Childhood Trauma, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Out of Character, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prostitution, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-02-26 04:24:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13228026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hsilence/pseuds/hsilence
Summary: Junsik is a broke, homeless 20 year old selling his body for shelter and Sanghyeok is a university student with enough space to spare, literally and figuratively.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Quite the graphic rape although it's very short (<200 words). I couldn't write more because I felt too wretched writing it :/
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEARS~ I’ve been writing this fic for a while, although it’s probably not what most of you wanted, it’s some sort of a holiday gift fic for all the amazing comments and kudos that I don’t think I quite deserve T^T 
> 
> Quite the unorthodox and unpopular pairing, I know, but I had a blast writing this because I simply love writing about Bang and I wanted the chance to write a soft Faker :3 Although I fully admit, a lot of out of character-ness (to the point where you can just switch their names out and it won’t be a fanfiction per se). I will be posting the second part regardless of the response but I DO hope one or two of you will enjoy reading it just as much as I have enjoyed writing it, it will make me very happy T^T

There were always dingy, discreet back alleys in a big city like Seoul where dubious things occured that dare not be voiced in the daylight. Drug trades, organ trades, weapon trades, prostitutions, and the list goes on. Junsik had been part of this illegal to say the least business since he was old enough to know that he needed money to survive. On the lower spectrum of things of course where it didn’t require him to have his head on a guillotine just to get himself some lunch money. It was the middle of October and it was getting cold. He flicked the ashes off his cigarette and huddled himself closer to the good-for-nothing jacket, glancing back and forth the ratty alley that smelled like piss and smoke. He was sitting on his heels, rocking back and forth on his worn out vans. Tuesday was always the hardest day to catch a client. He usually had to go out the crowded main street with the bright lights and the glass buildings and cautiously seek out a lonely business man who was dreading to go back to his home where he was either living alone or his family waiting for him. Either way, there was always a depraved, foul man seeking for a good fuck, receiving or giving, and Junsik was frankly a master at seeking them out.

"Tsk,” he spat out, throwing down the cigarette and extinguishing the light with his thumb. He hated having to go outside of his comfort zone. There was usually a certain amount of risk getting caught not to mention the certain dirty stares he got. But he has already used the money he earned last week and he needed the money now more than before, more for the shelter than food. He had no aspirations to freeze to death. He trod down the rather abandoned pathway and headed towards the main street. He scowled at the lights that was glaring compared to the dim backstreets and pulled up the hoodie from his jean jacket. He pushed his hands deep into the pockets and started scouting. It was well into 11pm and there were already few hassled looking businessman, young and old.

'Now, which one of you wants to fuck with a fresh 20-year-old,’ Junsik scanned the faces, careful not to make any eye contact. His eyes strayed to a 40-something looking old man standing few feet away from the bus stop, smoking. He gave him a once over before straightening up and approaching him. He was just about to open his mouth to speak but two men in the police uniform caught the corner of his eyes. And as luck would have it, he recognized one of their faces; he was the one who almost caught him in act just few days back. He swore inwardly when the policeman caught his stare and he quickly tore his eyes away and whipped around.

'Shit, shit, shit,’ he chanted, practically running now, not daring to look back. By the time he turned a corner into an aisle between two buildings, he was gasping for his breath. He leaned against the gritty wall, waiting for his breath to catch up. He reached for a smoke like he did whenever he was on edge and as soon as he lit it up, his stomach betrayed his hunger and growled seemingly loud enough to echo throughout the small space. He grabbed at his empty stomach. Although he was far from being a poster boy for healthy lifestyle, he managed to keep up enough for him to not be scrawny. In fact, he looked pretty fit, all defined and lean muscles, kept up with the unintentionally limited diet and work outs he always fit in. His looks were what fed him in the end after all. He thanked his genetics which was about the only thing he thanked his nonexistent family for.

"There goes my food for the week,” he sighed out, knowing he can’t go back out for at least couple of days, as a safety measure. 

"But you have money for cigarettes?”

"What the-!” Junsik jumped at the voice, whisking his head around to find a dark-clad figure leaning against the side of the building opposite him. He couldn’t make out the face at all but he didn’t look or sound threatening and he reluctantly relaxed again.

"None of your business,” he scowled, crouching down. The figure shrugged and got up. He was dressed in dark pants with a gray hoodie zip up. And although he could barely make out the facial features, he looked just a couple of years older than him. He stayed silent as the stranger stalked out and he settled himself down more comfortably. He had to figure out where he was going to go the next few days. He had a couple of friends running a bar in the red light districts. He hated bothering them and only went to them during the coldest of the winter when he didn’t have anywhere to get some shut-eye without getting hypothermia.

'I do have enough money to stay at some shoddy motel for couple nights…,’ he thought. The problem was food and he found himself cursing at his luck. Today out of all the days, the policeman decides to take his patrol. If it was any other season than late autumn and winter, he’d have prioritized food but he knew from experience it just wasn’t worth it during cold weathers. His train of thought stopped abruptly when he saw a pair of plain white sneakers come to a halt in front of him. His eyes only had to go as far up as the legs to realize that it was the same guy who had just walked away.  He scrunched his eyes trying to get a better look but the hood he had up cast a shadow just over his eyes, making it difficult to make out anything.

"What do you want?” he demanded, not keen on meeting more trouble tonight. Instead of an answer, a black plastic bag was thrust towards his face. He looked at the stranger incredulously, poking at the bag. “What the hell is this?”

"You sounded hungry,” came the composed reply and Junsik felt a surge of anger.

"I don’t need your goddamn pity, you fucker,” he gritted out, glaring at the shadowed face. The stranger seemed to contemplate for second before dropping the bag as casually as he brought it, next to Junsik, and started walking away.

"O-oi!” Junsik called out, taken aback. The stranger turned around and he could finally see his face clearly, lit up by the lights in the main street. Yeah, he was definitely just a couple of years older than him, a university student at the most. “Take this back.”

"Do whatever you want with it,” the hoodie-clad stranger dismissed him and turned around before disappearing into the crowd. Junsik stared at the empty space where the stranger just was, appalled.  

"Hey, at least let me pay you back!” he shouted, coughing as his smoke caught at his throat, but his eyes had already lost the stranger.  

 

§§§

 

Junsik had his pride but he wasn’t stupid enough to die of starvation or the cold because of it. He begrudgingly took the plastic bag, checked into a nearby motel for 3 nights with the money he had and decided to wait it out.  He was back in business by the weekend. The days got colder as the month turned well into the edge of October and he had to squeeze himself into a sweater beneath his jacket. He had landed quite the rich customer who seemed keen on having him more than just the one time. He had patted himself on the back; money was direr during the winter and he had already received enough cash to spend lazing around in his friend’s red light district bar for few nights. It was a nice place to pick up customers, with booze and not having to keep himself from shivering because of the piercing cold.  

It was Wednesday night and for the first time in a long while, he was enjoying his time in the crowded streets without prowling for another moneybag to leech off of. It was an area filled with university students so he didn’t have to worry about standing out or being caught unaware by one of his past patrons. He drank in the icy air, fishing for his lighter. His fingers were numb from the cold and he swore when he fumbled, dropping it on the concrete floor. Just as he bent down to pick it back up, pale and bony hands beat him to it. He mumbled his thanks and made a motion to take it back but the hands held firm on to the lighter. Raising an eyebrow, he looked up and it took him few seconds but he recognized the face.

"You!” he pointed an accusatory finger at the stranger, his mouth agape. He was looking at the guy whom he ran into the night he ran away from the policemen. This time, he was clad in jeans, a black hoodie and an overcoat with a backpack, making him look like a plain university student. His exclamation was met with a mixture of curious and amused stare and feeling somewhat annoyed, he snatched the lighter from the stranger’s hand.

"You survived.”

"Of course I survived,” Junsik snorted at the stranger’s comment, lighting the cigarette he already had between his lips. He sighed out in relief after the first drag and suddenly remembering how exactly he met this stranger, he snapped his head towards him.

"I need to pay you back,” Junsik demanded.

"For?”

"For last time,” he snapped impatiently.

"No need.” They had moved to the edge of the streets to avoid the rush of people. The guy had his head down and he couldn’t quite see his face.

"Oh, come on, I hate owing people,” Junsik urged. “Finance isn’t my strong suit so I can’t exactly pay you back in cash.”

"Forget it.”

"You must have taken a guess at what I do for a living or are you just that pristine?” he goaded, leaning down and trying to get a look at his face. It took some will to not flinch away when he raised his head and stared at him with a hard look.

"What’s your name?”

"What? Why do you ask?” he straightened his back, thrown at the abrupt question.

"You said you wanted to pay me back. Tell me your name.”

"...Junsik. Bae Junsik,” he hesitantly answered him, breaking the eye contact and looking out into the crowd, uncomfortable at the sudden change in the atmosphere. He could have lied through his teeth like he did with every one of his clients but he did owe him. And the idea of this stranger knowing his name wasn’t so bad.

"Ehem…Well, if that’s all you want, I’ll get going,” he coughed out, crushing the burnt cigarette with the soles of his shoes. He glanced at the still figure next to him who was back to staring at the ground again. He started walking away, pulling up his hood and he could very vaguely hear the ‘bye’ muttered under his breath.

 

§§§

 

It was bitingly cold and the wind made it seem like he only had one layer of clothing. He got lucky tonight; he was about to give it up, the sudden rain making his feet feel like he developed frost bites. He was about to walk away from the alley when he was called back. He hadn’t seen the guy around before. He seemed fairly young and way more built than most of his patrons. He usually would have been more careful, lest things go downhill and he could be outdone physically, but it was freezing and the idea of a warm shower was impossible to resist. And he saw no harm in piling just a bit of cash. So he smiled his coy smile and sidled up to him because no way the guy was a bottom. And it was the usual routine from then: a nearby motel, taking turns in the shower before Junsik did what he was paid for. Junsik dried off his hair as thoroughly as he could with the towel and after checking his appearance one last time in the fogged up bathroom mirror, he stepped out, shuddering at the cold air of the room. His client was sitting perched on the bed and he felt regret creeping on him. He knew the types that looked like him: short and bad-tempered, liked his bitches obedient and fucks rough, more often than not involved in shady businesses if the brands that looked like tattoos were any indication. But he forced on a smile anyways because if he even attempted to run away now, things could only get worse. The best he could do was try not to step on any landmines. He navigated his way towards him before placing his knee on the bed in between the man’s legs and a hand on his shoulder. And holy shite he must be 6 feet something because even sitting down, he was about the same height as him. Before he could get any words out, he was turned and pushed down, rough hands keeping his shoulder and hips down.

"Wait, stop, I-,” he felt his breath get knocked out of him when his back hit the bed post and all he could think was that he, fuck, he should have just ran. 

"First of all, _you_ don’t tell me what to do,” he positively growled and Junsik had to bite down hard on his lips to keep a scream from ripping out because the bastard was planning to fuck him dry. He struggled to get out of the iron grip almost instinctively and it was answered with a blinding punch to his cheek. He tasted blood in his mouth.

"You aren’t very smart are you,” he sneered into his ears and Junsik felt a shudder run through his spines. But being the dumbfuck he was, he glared at him, his pride oh so conveniently deciding to come into play. It earned him another bash and while his sight blurred momentarily, he felt the ripping pain from underneath. His wrists were forcefully held together and if it wasn’t for the hand that was blocking his mouth, he would have screamed and more. He tried but the tears gathered nonetheless and with both of his hands unavailable, he couldn’t stop them from rolling down shamelessly.

It felt like hours and by the time he pulled out, the pain from all over his body faded into a dull throb. He felt like retching when he felt the bodily fluid run down his thighs. His hands now free, gripped at the sheets as he barely heard the rustling of clothes. He kept his eyes closed and gritted his teeth when he felt the crispness of paper money falling onto his bare and dirtied abdomen and the door slamming shut. Moments like these were when he felt to his bones too deeply that he was, in fact, homeless, family-less and a good for nothing whore.

 

§§§

 

Junsik scraped up what he could of his consciousness and grated his teeth through the painful and disgusting shower. He scrubbed himself as best as he could, not caring where he was bruised or had an open cut, until he felt raw. He would have usually stayed the night at the same motel but he wanted to get out of the place as fast as he can. He limped his way out into the cold and he didn’t know how far he made it but he vaguely registered the bright lights and the loud noises. He must have made it all the way to the main streets. It was the same place he was at not so long ago where he ran into the stranger for the second time. He had enough sense to put on his hood, his beat up face would be asking for an interrogation, and cursed when his legs felt too weak to go anywhere further. He nearly dragged himself to a relatively empty curb and hissed as he sat down. He wanted to smoke but all the strength in his limbs were virtually nil and he just ended up slumping against the wall. He began to feel drowsy and the last shred of his consciousness was about to slip away when an all too familiar white shoes caught his eyes.

"Ok, now you’re just stalking me,” he mumbled, squinting his eyes at the face that was soon to be accustomed now. It was him again.

"You know you’ll die if you sleep out here,” the stranger said, frowning down at him. Junsik absentmindedly noted that he was wearing a fluffy looking jacket today in place of an overcoat.

"I know, I know…Hey, since you’re here, mind reaching my cigarettes for me. I would do it myself but…just too goddamn tired,” he trailed off, the languidness getting harder and harder to fight off.

"...What happened to you.”

"Hmm? Nothing, just occupational hazard,” he murmured, his eyes fully closed now, wanting nothing more than to just sleep.

"Hey!” the stranger called sharply, and Junsik felt cold fingers grab at his chin, tilting his face up. He managed to pry one of his eyes open to look at the stranger’s unreadable expression before finally nodding off.

He couldn’t remember anything with clarity afterwards but he remembered feeling extremely warm and the feeling of being carried. The next time he opened his eyes were to a ceiling. A ceiling that was very unfamiliar to him because it wasn’t the type of ceilings he saw in motels or bars. He groaned at how heavy his limbs felt and the throbbing pain from all over. He winced when the cut on his lips started bleeding again. Somebody had tucked him in and his jacket was neatly folded over a chair.

"Where the hell…” he muttered, cautiously slipping out of the bed that had an enticingly good linen smell that he hadn’t smelled in the longest time. He looked down and sighed in silent relief that he was still in all of his clothes, minus the jacket. He grabbed it from the chair, checked that he still had his phone, his cigarettes and his lighter, before carefully opening the door. He almost moaned out loud at the smell of a hot meal that came rushing but his stomach betrayed his presence for him, growling all too loudly. He froze in place, his eyes finally taking in the figure sitting on one of the dining chairs, a book splayed open.

"Awake already?” It took him a good second to recognize the face behind the thin rimmed glasses.

"You again?” he exclaimed, but nonetheless felt the tension leave his body.

"Me again,” he repeated, closing his book.

"What am I doing here?”

"I can explain while you eat,” he said, nodding towards the table he was sitting at. After few seconds of contemplation, Junsik shrugged, setting his jacket down on the couch that was just behind the room he came out of. He figured that if he wanted to do any harm, he would already have done it. Although the guy looked too thin and frail to do anyone any harm. 

"Not really in the position to say no to a free meal,” he admitted, settling himself down and doing all he can not to inhale the food all at once. “Sho whut happened?” he asked, his mouth full of food distorting his words.

"You passed out. Couldn’t leave you there so I brought you home.”

"You are quite the storyteller, you know that,” he rolled his eyes at the curt words. “…I suppose I’m in your debt again then.”

There was no reply and they stayed silent until he cleared the table.

"Ahh, that was freakin’ awesome,” he groaned, his stomach feeling so pleasantly full.  He adjusted himself on the chair and tried to mask the gasp at the sharp pain. The unpleasantness of yesterday came flooding in, making him grimace. The stranger suddenly stood up, rummaging through a cabinet just besides the flat screen TV. He pulled out a plastic bag before sitting down on the couch with one of his legs propped up and looked at him expectantly.

"What?”

"I didn’t have any first aids so I couldn’t do anything for your wounds yesterday.”

"What? No, forget it, it’s nothing,” Junsik snorted, hiding a cringe as the cut on his lip stung.

"You owe me.”

"Huh?” he looked back sharply at the stranger.

"You said you owe me. You can get yourself out of my debt by getting yourself patched up.” Junsik stared dumbfounded at him before letting out a burst of laughter.

"You are a bit weird, you know that?”

"I have been told.”

Junsik made his way to the couch and folded both of his legs up. He flinched at the sting of ethanol but waited it out. He seemed to know what he was doing; his wrists were bandaged up, the cut on his lips rubbed with ointments and it was only his cheeks that were left. It was oddly calming watching the thin hands at work.

"You know I’m a flat-broke rent boy, right?” he asked, searching the eyes behind the glasses. The only response he got was a delicately raised eyebrow.

"Not exactly someone you want around your house, never mind in it.” When that still didn’t get him any reaction, he added, “Not someone you would really want to be associated with.”

"Did I make any indication that I care,” he finally replied, not taking his eyes off of his work. It wasn’t a big deal at all, really, but Junsik still couldn’t stop the warm glow at the pit of his stomach.

"What’s your name?” he asked.

Sanghyeok. It’s Lee Sanghyeok.”

And this time, he saw a hint of smile around the stranger's lips.

 

§§§

 

"Well, thanks for everything,” Junsik said, picking up his jacket and shrugging into it. The stranger, Sanghyeok more like, had finished patching him up and the bandages on his face and arms felt unfamiliar. This was the first time he has ever taken care of any of his injuries besides running hot water over them. “I don’t know if you were bored or whatnot but…thanks anyways.”

He took a quick look at him before heading towards the door.

"You should stay.” He turned around at the statement that was neither a demand or a plea. “I know you’re still hurt. You can’t be thinking of taking up another… client in your state.”

"So what are you suggesting,” Junsik stared at Sanghyeok, narrowing his eyes.

"Stay till you get better. I won’t stop you from leaving but if you’re not stupid, you should stay.”

Junsik spluttered at his blunt words but pondered the offer. He knew the guy as much as he knew any of his clients: essentially nothing. But he was right about everything. There was no way he could earn any money if he left now and he had refused to take the money from the asshole last night. He’d be starving and freezing at a random curb by the end of this week.

"From my experience, nobody does anything for anybody for free,” he asserted.

"I’m offering out of my own conscientiousness,” Sanghyeok replied, tidying up the first aid kit. Junsik chewed at his lips, looking at his ratty vans arranged in a haphazard fashion in the front doorstep. He sighed out in defeat, walking back into the living room.

"Can’t argue against that,” he admitted, taking his jacket off. “I’ll be in your care then.”

"Alright then,” Sanghyeok nodded, looking satisfied with the turn of the events. “I need to head out now, make yourself home. I don’t have a copy of the key yet so you’ll have to stay indoors till I come back unless you want to be locked out. Do whatever you want with anything here.”

And with that, he was out the door, the door shutting with a bang and Junsik stood there, feeling whiplashed.

"What an ass,” he muttered under his breath, looking around the apartment. It was fairly neat for a guy living alone. The bedroom door was right opposite the front door and there was a another door on the right adjacent to the bedroom which he assumed was the bathroom. The kitchen was to the left of the front door and the living room had a small balcony.

'Well, he said do whatever with anything…’ he thought to himself, making himself comfortable on the couch, grabbing the remote from the wooden coffee table.

 

§§§

 

_He was really young. About 7 to 8 years old. It was just around the time when he became homeless and parentless. He didn’t know a dime about living in the streets but even as a kid, he had a sense of pride that made him refuse to beg for money on the busy streets. So he eventually made his way into the darker side of the city, mostly unwittingly, but he liked that he got less stares here. The few that walked by didn’t give him a second glance until he boldly, and stupidly, caught the eyes of one of the passerby. He gave furtive glances back and forth the alley before he crouched down in front of him._

_"Hey kid, you lost?” the man had a gravelly voice and he couldn’t see his face properly._

_"No,” he shook his head, and took a step back, not liking how the man smelled._

_"You know it’s dangerous for you to be alone here.”_

_"I know,” he shot back._

_"You working for anyone?” the man asked, and he only tilted his head in confusion. He was too young to be working for anyone. He felt a hand grip roughly at his wrist and even as a rookie on the streets, he knew this wasn’t good. He struggled but the grip only got stronger and he felt panic bubble in his chest. He tried to run away, turning away from the man but he was too small and too weak and the hand kept him in place._

_"Let me go!” he screamed, rightfully terrified. He scratched at the hand and he frantically looked around for somebody, anybody to help him._

_"Hey,” a voice called from somewhere down the alley and he desperately tried to free himself from the grappling hands._

_"Hey!” the voice got louder and he wanted to cry out to it for help but-_

He gasped awake, his breaths coming in short. His fingernails were dug into the couch and he felt clammy with sweat. It was dark in the living room, the sun was setting and the lights were turned off. The first thing he saw were the intensely worried eyes behind the round rimmed glasses.

"Are you okay?” Sanghyeok was kneeling besides the couch, his backpack and coat still on. Junsik sat up, taking a moment to reassure himself.

"I’m fine.”

Sanghyeok looked like he was about to call out his bullshit but instead, he turned on the lights and disappeared into his room.

'What a crappy dream,’ he thought, putting his feet down on the floor. He ran a hand through his hair and jumped at the sound of the door opening. Sanghyeok came back out, this time holding a pair of sweatpants and a shirt.

"I assume you want to wash up. The towel’s in the bathroom. The closet door looking thing next to the bathroom is where the washing machine is, you can put your dirty clothes in the laundry bag there,” he explained, handing him the fresh set of clothes. Junsik nodded his thanks and headed towards the bathroom. He quickly stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower, groaning at the hot water relieving his tensed muscles. After stepping out of the shower, he leaned in to take a good look at himself in the bathroom mirror. The bruises and the cuts on his cheek and lips were still an angry red but the swelling had gone down significantly. He examined the gray sweatpants and the white pullover briefly before putting them on. He wiggled around in them a bit, liking how they fit on him. He grabbed his old clothes, dumped them in the laundry bag, and stepped into the living room. A strong but nonetheless enticing aroma hit his nose and he saw Sanghyeok standing at the kitchen counter.  

"Coffee?” Sanghyeok offered, turning around with two mugs in his hand, holding one out towards him.

"Now? At night?” he asked doubtfully, glancing out the window where it was already dark.

"You aren’t going back to sleep any time soon, I’m guessing. And I have work to do,” he reasoned. Junsik shrugged and grabbed the mug from his temporary roommate. Sanghyeok moved to sit down on the floor, using the couch as his backrest. He already had his laptop open and a cluster of papers on the coffee table. He had changed into a pair of black sweats, a white shirt and a gray zip-up sweater with his glasses on. He started typing away on his computer and Junsik observed from the kitchen countertop, absent-mindedly taking his first sip of the coffee.

"Holy crap, this shit’s good,” he blurted out, the deep taste throwing him off guard. Sanghyeok jumped at the sudden exclamation, staring at him dubiously. Junsik cleared his throat to hide his embarrassment. “This, uh, this is really good,” he explained awkwardly, pointing at his mug, suddenly finding the kitchen sink to be riveting.

"There’s more in that pot if you want,” Sanghyeok informed him, with a hint of amusement before turning his attention back to his screen. Junsik shook his head at his own outburst and walked as quietly as he could to the couch. He occupied the space opposite of where Sanghyeok was using it as a backrest and tried to figure out what he was up to. Of course, he wouldn’t understand anything, not ever having been to a structure even closely related to education after kindergarten. He leaned against the arm rest, staring out to the veranda.

"University student?” he asked, sipping at the coffee that he was very quickly becoming addicted to.

"3rd year.”

"Which university?”

"Seoul National University.”

"Seoul Na-, what, are you serious?!” he spluttered, sitting up straight. SNU was the first ranking university in Korea, notoriously elitist and hard to get in. He’d had to be first in every one of his class and his entire year for every single year in middle and high school to get into such a school. Or had some crazy connections.

"Yeah,” Sanghyeok replied, nonchalantly still typing away.

"So what, are you one of those-, one of those beautiful mind people?”

"Beautiful mind people?” he quirked an eyebrow, finally looking back at him. He shrugged and Sanghyeok just shook his head before turning back to his laptop.

"If everyone who attends SNU is a ‘beautiful mind’ type of people, Korea would definitely be better off. Or worse,” he responded to which Junsik rolled his eyes.

"So you are a 3rd year SNU student. And I am a down and out call boy taking temporary refuge. Talk about class difference,” he snorted at the ridiculousness of the situation before settling back down, wrapping both his hands around the still warm mug.

"It’s not so bad,” Sanghyeok frowned.

"Trust me, it can’t get worse. Unless you are from some kind of a high-class, richass family with a family business,” Junsik argued. The silence that followed was all the answer he needed. “…You aren’t, are you?” he groaned, setting down his mug and sliding down the arm rest with a pillow smooshed into his face.

"You are shitting me.”

Sanghyeok stubbornly stared into his laptop, his lips pressed into a thin line.

"So what, am I one of your new charity cases that you took on because you were bored?” he demanded, feeling a bolt of anger doubled with humiliation.

"No,” Sanghyeok replied sharply. He turned his head around, and the stare that he returned was too sincere and intense for him to hold it for a second longer.

"...Ehem, okay, okay, I’m not,”  Junsik placated, clearing his throat and returning his gaze towards the window. “…You really are strange you know.”

"I have been told.”

 

§§§

 

Junsik insisted on sleeping on the couch and thanks to the glass windows, he woke up early with the sunlight shining in. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, sitting up on the couch and stretching his stiff shoulders. The clock on the wall suggested it was a bit too early for him to be awake.

'Probably the damn coffee,’ he thought, swiping the thick comforter off of him and standing up. The bedroom door was shut and Sanghyeok’s laptop was still on the coffee table so he could only assume he was still asleep. He wondered around the apartment, peeking at the nooks and crannies and halted in front of the only 2 picture frames on the cabinet besides the TV. One was a baby Sanghyeok with a woman smiling blindingly at the camera which he assumed to be his mother. The other was an elementary school Sanghyeok, significantly more subdued but nonetheless smiling, with an older boy holding his hand and a younger one wrapped around his neck. ‘Siblings?’ he wondered noting that the three looked nothing alike. After his self-tour, he ended up in the kitchen feeling the hunger creep up on him. He examined every cupboard, drawers and the fridge and frankly, he was lost. He has never cooked in his life, the closest to “home-cooked meals” being the ones he ate at his friends’ bar.

"Oh what the hell, first time for everything, right?” he muttered to himself before swiping any ingredient that he deemed appropriate.

And that stupid decision is how he ended up, 30 minutes later, staring at what he assumed could curb a starving man’s appetite for good. And it’s also how Sanghyeok found him, standing over a …liquid, gel type of substance, with a safe distance of course because he was pretty sure the smell was toxic.

"What…is that?” Sanghyeok asked, cautiously approaching him.

"...I have no idea,” Junsik replied, shaking his head. Sanghyeok peeked over his shoulder and after a momentary silence, gave a little nod, looking both impressed and disgusted. “I’m going to go ahead and clean this up…unless you want to store it for the future in case you ever need a quick death.”

"Just soak it in the sink,” Sanghyeok chuckled, moving to grab himself a cup of coffee. “Get a coat or something, let’s go get something to eat outside.”

"Hmm,” Junsik nodded his acknowledgement and filled the pot with hot water. He quickly grabbed his jacket in the living room and squeezed into it. He was about to put his shoes on when Sanghyeok suddenly stopped him.

"Hang on,” he muttered before disappearing into his room once again. Junsik stared after him with a frown which turned into a surprise when he came back out with a coat. He handed it to him without a word and before he could even protest, Sanghyeok was out the door.

"Jerk,” he sighed, taking out his cigarettes and lighter from his old jacket and shoving it in the pockets of the coat. He begrudgingly admitted that it was hell a lot warmer and comfortable than his own. But no way he was going to mention it because Sanghyeok already looked too satisfied with him just wearing it. They slowly made their way out of the apartment, their breaths coming out condensed in the cold winter air. More out of habit than anything else, Junsik grabbed one of the last cigarettes and lit it up, feeling his body relax after the first drag. He heard barely covered up coughs from besides him and he looked at Sanghyeok, surprised.

"You don’t smoke?”

"No,” he gave a curt reply, keeping his mouth shut in thin line to avoid inhaling any smoke.

"My bad, my bad,” Junsik apologized before quickly extinguishing the light in a trash can nearby and throwing it away.

"You didn’t need to do that,” Sanghyeok replied, with a strange little look on his face that was starting to become a trademark for him.

"I may strip naked for free food but I still have my manners,” he argued, throwing away the cigarette into the nearby trashcan. He guffawed at the disapproving look on his temporary roommate’s face because it just seemed absurd. Nobody in his entire life cared what he did with his own body and here this bizarre stranger was frowning with _disapproval_ over his comment.

"What?” Sanghyeok asked, looking a bit annoyed when he was laughing so hard that his eyes teared up a bit.

"Ahh…Nothing, it’s nothing,” he waved him off, walking ahead to hide his grin that was starting to hurt his cheeks.  

 

§§§

 

It’s been a week since he’s stayed in Sanghyeok’s place. Every one of his wounds healed and although he hated to admit it, he wished for once that they healed a little bit slowly. But as he ripped the bandages off in the shower Friday night, he knew he had to get out and get back to his normal life. He had already gotten his old clothes back from within Sanghyeok’s closet and as he pulled them on, he noticed for the first time how uncomfortable they were after the week spent in sweat pants.

It had already gotten dark when he got out of the shower and he was just waiting in the living room for Sanghyeok to return, not bothering to turn on the lights. His nerves were on edge and he picked at the frayed edge of his shirt. He jumped at the sound of the front door opening and as Sanghyeok walked in, he stood up from the couch. He waited until he noticed him.

"What are you doing in the dark?” Sanghyeok asked, shuffling off his shoes, frowning at him curiously.

"I, uh,” he started, swallowing, “I’m all healed.”

Sanghyeok stayed silent, cautiously approaching him. 

"Deal was I stay until I’m good to go and I am so…I was going to head back out tonight,” he managed, carefully watching as Sanghyeok slowly walked into the living room, dropping his backpack at the doorstep. He couldn’t make his face out and to this date, Junsik had no idea what made him do what he did.

"I’m owe you for the whole week. And I hate owing people,” he started, knowing he had to stop himself from saying any of this but he continued anyways, “And I only know and have one way to pay people back.”

Sanghyeok snapped his head up, but Junsik paid no heed and stepped close until they could feel each other’s breath. They were pretty much the same height, Junsik making up for being an inch shorter with breadth. He gently pushed at the boney chest till the back of Sanghyeok’s leg hit the edge of the couch, making him fall onto it. His head was a mess; his body was basically moving on auto-pilot at this point. He repeated the motion he did countless times in his past; he grabbed one of his shoulder, perched his knee in between his legs and shrugged off his jacket.

"H-hey,” Sanghyeok let out, pushing him away with a hand against his chest. He quickened his motion, inexplicable scared that Sanghyeok is going to force him off.

"Shh, let me do this,” he murmured, pressing his lips just below his ear, grabbing the hand that was trying to push him away. He trailed his lips down the pale neck and reached with his free hands to undo the zipper only to have his wrist pulled away.

"Hey!,” Sanghyeok yanked his hand away and pushed his shoulders with more strength than Junsik expected. “Stop this.”

Jusink pulled back, suddenly feeling terribly lost. 

"I don’t want you to do this,” he continued firmly, locking their eyes. “You don’t owe me.”

"But-“

"I said stop it,” Sanghyeok said with finality, his voice shaking with what Junsik identified as anger. He slowly climbed off of him and dropped onto the floor, the reality instantaneously crashing in. He pulled his knees towards his chest, and buried his head underneath his arms. He took a few shaky breaths, trying to clear his head again.

'Bae Junsik, get your shit together,’ he berated himself, squeezing his eyes shut. He tried to calm himself in every way he knew and he didn’t even hear it when Sanghyeok stood up and walked off somewhere. He had his breathing back under control when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see Sanghyeok standing over him, a mug of coffee held towards him. He wordlessly took it and as the warmth of first sip spread through his chest, he let out a sigh of relief. Sanghyeok had moved to sit on the floor next to him, both of them leaning against the couch. The silence over them was neither comfortable nor heavy and Junsik wanted to apology profusely, bang his head against the wall out of humiliation, and run out so that he can be done and over with the whole mess but he stayed glued to the floor.

"I’m the middle child,” Sanghyeok began. Junsik looked towards him curiously, surprised he was the first to break the silence. “Have an older brother and a younger brother. And I wasn’t exactly…uh, a model son.”

"Isn’t a model son? You got into SNU,” Junsik wondered aloud incredulously, silently glad that his own voice found strength again.

"Hah,” he let out a derisive laugh, “Let’s just say I’m an illegitimate son of a sort.”

"Wha-, seriously? Talk about some family drama.”

"Haha! You don’t say,” Sanghyeok laughed out, his eyes crinkling with genuine laughter and Junsik felt that warm glow again at having been the one to put that expression on his face. “My biological mother passed away when I was 5 so I was brought into the household then. They were pretty ashamed of me. Put me into different schools than my siblings. Pretended I didn’t quite exist actually. Which was fine for me, because my brothers were good to me.  But things got uh, pretty violent time to time.”

Junsik nodded, not liking where the story was going.

"You can guess my father was far from fidelity. Whenever mother found out about his new, young girlfriend, she would take it out on me. My father would do the same when he returned home, drunk and in foul mood. I used to patch myself up because I soon found out that going to school with a face and body full of bruises was a shortcut to being called into the principal’s office. And I took it as long as I’ve lived with them. I’m pretty sure they would have thrown me out of the house as soon as I was 18 if it weren’t for my brothers. My older brother managed to make sure that I got my late mother’s will which was actually quite the fair amount along with this place,” he said, tapping at the floor. Junsik was impressed; she must have been one hell of a working-mom.

"Being the aberrancy that I am, school was the one place I really liked. I enjoyed studying and I was good at it. I applied to universities using the inheritance, and now, I’m paying my way through with a scholarship. And a part time job. I’m not into contact with either of my parents, just my brothers,” he finished. “Sorry…That was longer than I intended.”

"No,” Junsik shook his head, “No, it’s fine…Why, why did you tell me all this,” he carefully voiced the question, genuinely curious.

"I wanted to.”

"Hah! Fair enough,” he smirked, setting his mug down on the coffee table with a clack. This time, a comfortable silence settled over them and Junsik closed his eyes, reveling in the peaceful moment after what seemed like a storm. “I’m not sure what kind of family I had,” he began, not opening his eyes. He felt Sanghyeok’s eyes on him nonetheless. “I think I was the same age as you when I got taken into an orphanage. Not a bad one probably, but I still hated it. Ran out when I was 7 and I lived off of pickpocketing. I was small and it worked fine until I got bigger and more noticeable. By that time, I knew more or less what I had to do to survive. I think I was 14…? When I got into the business that I’m in now.”

"...14,” Sanghyeok muttered. Junsik peeked at him and saw him picking at his fingernails.

"Yup, I started young. Believe it or not, even the most depraved fuckers were reluctant to take on somebody too young. They would be in deeper shit if they got found out. But I looked older than my age back then so that helped. And once I found out that the money was way better that way, I continued. Most of them were harmless, I’d meet some…big assholes like the last one, but those were just my own undoing. I made some friends in the red light district that gave me a hand when I needed it and I survived till now,” he finished, reflecting on his own story, feeling bemused.

"Stay longer,” Sanghyeok spoke up again after a beat of silence.

"I-.”

"You can do the housework; I barely have the time to do it anyways. I already got a copy of the key.”

Junsik contemplated quietly. He knew even this wasn’t going to last too long; the only thing he knew how to do to earn money was sell his body. And he couldn’t keep staying with Sanghyeok while being a rent boy nor could he stay with Sanghyeok without earning himself some pocket money at the least. And Sanghyeok probably knew this as well.

"...Why do you want me to stay,” Junsik asked, blinking up at the ceiling.

"I want you to.”

"...Fair enough,” he smiled, closing his eyes again. It was a good enough reason for him.

 

§§§

 

Over the next few days they had settled into a comfortable rhythm. Sanghyeok woke up at 7:30 and headed out around 9 every morning. They always had breakfast together and Junsik spent his morning cleaning up. Sanghyeok tended to come back any time around 3 to 6 so Junsik was left to his own devices till then. He started watching some shows on TV, work out and even take some books off of Sanghyeok’s massive collection in his bedroom. He was starting to find out that he himself quite preferred the mystery genre. Sanghyeok had his part time job shifts at night from 8 to 10 on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. He worked at an academy for high school students and helped the teachers there grade the students’ papers and help them out during their study sessions.

After Junsik’s horrid attempt at cooking the last time, they have resorted to eating outside whenever Sanghyeok doesn’t have the time to whip up a quick meal. Which was why Junsik was waiting in front of the gray and rather gloomy looking academy at 10pm. It was just a 3 minutes’ walk from the busy university streets where Sanghyeok had found Junsik almost passed out on the curb.   He kicked at the icy ground; it was almost November and the days were getting shorter while the night was getting longer. He was wearing his one and only pants and jacket and a borrowed sweater from Sanghyeok. He pulled the hood up to cover his frozen ears, his hands itching for a smoke but he knew Sanghyeok could come out any moment.

"Dammit, walk out faster, you bastard,” he hissed, jumping in place in a vain attempt to keep warm. Students began piling out not soon after, most of them still in their school uniform and Junsik stood near the wall to avoid them. He craned his neck to look for the lanky figure that would be Sanghyeok’s and he spotted him near the entrance. He waved his arm, ignoring the stare he got from the passerby and grinned when Sanghyeok noticed him over the stream of students. He saw a quirk at the corner of Sanghyeok’s lips before he started making his way towards where he was standing.

"Wave harder, I don’t think the guy at the end of street saw you,” Sanghyeok remarked drily while nodding towards the main street.

"You took your time. I’m starving,” he complained, ignoring Sanghyeok’s smartass comment as they started towards the crowded plaza, filled with people around their age. It was Friday night and it seemed especially lively today. “Where are we going?”

"Sanghyeok! Lee Sanghyeok!” a boisterous voice from somewhere in the crowd ahead of them called before Sanghyeok could reply. Sanghyeok squinted for a second into the crowd before his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Hey man, what the hell are you doing out here?” A guy who looked to be Sanghyeok’s age approached them with an impossibly big smile.

"Huni? I’m just getting a bite to eat after my shift. What are you doing here?”

"Just out with a couple of friends for a drink,” the man who Junsik assumed to be Sanghyeok’s friend, pointed vaguely at a group of people behind him before his eyes strayed towards him. “Hey, I haven’t seen you around before. A friend of Sanghyeok’s?”

"He’s, uh-..”

"I’m his cousin. Dad was badgering me about giving him a visit before the holidays so I’m staying with him for a couple of days,” Junsik lied, cutting off Sanghyeok. He smiled, shaking the hand that was held out to him, all the while feeling Sanghyeok’s stare on him. The man, Huni, gave him an inquisitive look before nodding.

"Alright, well, have a nice time catching up. It was nice to meet you,” Huni said while backing away. “I’ll see you in school, Sanghyeok!”

The two of them stared after him until he was out of vision and Sanghyeok turned a curious eye towards him.

"My cousin? What was that about?”

"Just thought telling him that I’m a stranger you met just few weeks ago who now lives with you might bring up more questions than you would like,” Junsik shrugged while they continued walking down the street.  

"That guy has been my best friend since elementary school. He knows every family member I have. Which means that he knows I don’t have a cousin,” Sanghyeok explained slowly, “Also, he was the one whole helped me carry you to my apartment.” The guy had the nerve to look amused when Junsik stopped in his tracks and stared at him disbelievingly.

"And you didn’t think to stop me before I started talking out of my ass?!”

"I didn’t know you were going to tell him you were my cousin,” Sanghyeok grinned from ear to ear, watching him face palm. “I wouldn’t have minded telling him the truth.”

"And what would that be,” Junsik asked, rolling his eyes. “You hired a rent boy to clean your house out of your infinite kindness?”

"Something like that,” Sanghyeok grinned, earning him a sharp jab in the ribs from Junsik.

 

§§§

 

Huni, as it turned out, was a nickname that he earned from Sanghyeok and his brothers around middle school that just stuck. His real name was Heo Seunghoon. He could tell he was someone important to him when Sanghyeok talked about him; it reminded him of the way he spoke of his brothers some time ago. He made a note to himself to thank him the next he ran into him, if there was a next time.

It had just turned November and the temperature dropped even more viciously. By now, it has become their weekend morning ritual to laze around in the living room with a book and Sanghyeok’s pot of coffee that Junsik swore was diluted heroine. Today was no different; it was Saturday morning and Junsik has just come out of the shower, ready to settle down on the couch with Sanghyeok and soak in the rare sunlight that snuck in through the window.

"You know, I never asked,” Junsik began, looking over Sanghyeok’s shoulder while drying his hair with a towel. “What major are you in?”

"Computer science,” he answered, looking unfazed. “Why the sudden interest?”

"I see you reading those boring non-fictions about history and neuroscience, I just wondered,” Junsik shrugged.

"They aren’t boring,” Sanghyeok retorted a little defensively which he found quite endearing. Before he could reply, the doorbell rang and he looked curiously at the door.

"I’ll get it,” he said, setting the towel around his neck.

"Wait-,” Sanghyeok started but Junsik had already opened the door, regretting the decision to do so without a shirt on as the cold air rushed into the apartment. Junsik was expecting a delivery man of some sort but what greeted him was a tiny kid in a high school uniform. He stared, unsure what to do with the situation at hand. Did Sanghyeok start to tutor a student or something?

"Umm…Sorry, I’m at the wrong house?” the kid started, sounding uncertain and backed a step to check the house number again.

"Wait, no, you’re not,” Junsik heard Sanghyeok’s voice right behind him. Junsik moved aside, letting Sanghyeok come into view and the kid’s face immediately brightened.

"Hyung!”

"Hyung?” Junsik frowned, knowing that he had missed a step.

"Wangho, I thought you were coming in the afternoon?” Sanghyeok greeted, wearing a soft smile that Junsik had never seen before.

"Yeah, but I wanted to get done with my work as soon as possible so I have more free time,” Wangho explained.

"That’s fine,” Sanghyeok replied, ruffling his brother’s hair, ushering him in and closing the door behind him. An awkward silence settled over them, all three of them just huddled at the door step.

"So…,” Wangho broke the silence, his eyes flitting between them. “Is there something you aren’t telling me, hyung?”   

"Um,” Junsik let out, wondering if he should quietly excuse himself out of the apartment and looked at Sanghyeok for help. But all he got was an amused smirk and another smartass comment whispered into his ear.           

"Maybe tell him you’re my cousin?”

Junsik flipped him off before turning back towards Sanghyeok’s brother with an awkward smile.

"Ah, right, I’m just going to go, uh, put on a shirt,” Junsik backed away into Sanghyeok’s bedroom, closing the door behind. He searched around for a shirt as slowly as possible, not wanting to disrupt the stream of conversation he heard, muffled through the door. He shrugged on a green hoodie and made his way back out. The two brothers were sitting on the floor of the living room, Wangho with his textbooks splayed open on the coffee table. As soon as he came into sight, Wangho’s head snapped up and Junsik was startled by how much his stare resembled Sanghyeok’s despite the two of them not being quite blood-related.

"This is Junsik. He’s staying at my place for a while,” Sanghyeok offered a curt explanation, leaning back against the couch and gave him an intent look that made him fidget.

"You have friends besides Huni-hyung?” Wangho asked bluntly and Junsik couldn’t hold in the laughter that made him double over. Sanghyeok choked on the coffee he was sipping away at and smacked the back of Wangho’s head, giving him glare.

"You guys are brothers alright,” Junsik guffawed, dragging a chair from the kitchen to the living room. He settled down with his own mug of coffee and watched as Wangho gave Sanghyeok a rueful grin to which Sanghyeok only shook his head.

"Do you also go to SNU?” Wangho asked.

"Nope,” Junsik shook his head.

"Then where?”

"The streets, my friend,” Junsik answered and was amused to say the least when Wangho’s brows disappeared into his bangs.

"Really?”

"Really, really.”

"Wow, that’s something,” Wangho stared at him with awe and Junsik smiled smugly at Sanghyeok.

"I like your brother,” he appriased and snickered when Sanghyeok gave him an unimpressed look.

"So you grew up on the streets?” Wangho asked, his homework being completely forgotten.

"Mhmm.”

"Wait, how did you guys meet then?”

"Call it a happy coincidence,” Sanghyeok butted in before Junsik could reply, “And didn’t you say you wanted help with your homework?”

Wangho pouted but took up his pen again nonetheless. Junsik moved to the couch with a book and once comfortable, leaned towards Sanghyeok.

"I think I like your brother more than you,” he whispered. It was met with a discreet middle finger and Junsik sniggered, leaning back against the arm rest and opening up his book.

 

§§§ 

 

Wangho stayed until 5 and the three of them ended up playing Xbox for the majority of the time. The apartment was more rowdy than it has ever been since Junsik came and by the time Wangho had left, his abs and cheeks were hurting from all the laughing. Wangho had refused to leave until he got a promise from Junsik that he’ll play Battleground with him the next time he came over and he felt like the 8 hours he spent with the cheeky 17-year-old was all he needed to understand why Sanghyeok was so fond of him. It was impossible not to coddle him.

"All jokes aside, your brother is pretty awesome,” Junsik commented, helping Sanghyeok pack away the Xbox.

"Yeah, I know,” Sanghyeok agreed, that soft smile on his lips again. “He’s a smart kid too. Studying to enter a medical school.”

"Aw, look at you, the proud big brother,” Junsik cooed, shoving him with his shoulders. He sniggered, avoiding the jab that he knew was coming and sprawled on the couch.

"He likes you too,” Sanghyeok said, joining him by taking the spot above his head, “I’ve never seen him hit it off with someone from the get go.”

Junsik didn’t respond but he felt strangely proud hearing it from Sanghyeok. A comfortable silence trickled by only to be broken by a knock on the front door.

"What is it with today?” Junsik asked, grunting as he tried to get up.

"I’ll get it,” Sanghyeok stopped him, gently pushing him back down. Junsik heard the front door unlock and a muffled exchange before Sanghyeok came back in. “The floor heating will be out for a few days on our floor. Something about maintenance.”

"Maintenance? They couldn’t do that before middle of the winter?” Junsik rolled his eyes. Sanghyeok only shrugged.

"You should sleep in the bedroom with me.”

"Huh?”

"I only have one of those electrical heaters. And I think my bed has more space than the couch for two people,” Sanghyeok replied, his eyebrows quirking up.

"That’s fine, I can bear it for a couple of days.”

"Don’t be an idiot, you know how cold it’s going to be in the living room especially,” Sanghyeok insisted with a tone suggested that the conversation was over. Junsik frowned but nonetheless nodded, not willing to argue over something trivial.

And so 5 hours later, Junsik was lying on the bed with Sanghyeok who was on his side with his back towards him. He blinked up at the ceiling, sleep not coming so easily.

"You know, this has to be the least exciting experience I had with a guy in a bed,” Junsik commented, sniggering at how strange it sounded even to him.

"Stop staying stupid things and sleep,” came the muffled reply.

"You know I never seen you bring a girl over once.”

"So?”

"Just say the word and I’ll make my scarce for a night,” Junsik offered, raising his eyebrows suggestively to which Sanghyeok furrowed his.

"I don’t bring girls over.”

"Then guys?”

"No,” Sanghyeok answered curtly.

"So…what are you saying, you are 22 and a virgin?” Junsik asked, turning around to look at him.

"No. I thought I told you to stop asking stupid questions,” Sanghyeok said, an edge of annoyance in his voice.

"Sorry, sorry~” Junsik shrugged, smirking at Sanghyeok’s reaction and leaned in. “But just you know, I’m here for experimentation if you ever get interested.”

Junsik immediately regretted it when he felt a knee aimed neatly at his stomach and spluttered before folding in at the pain. Sanghyeok turned his back towards him again and it was the first time that Junsik realized that a person’s back could convey satisfaction. Junsik fell asleep while muttering about violent roommates and nursing the bruise that he knew was going to show tomorrow.  

 

§§§

 

The sight to which Junsik woke up to the next morning was unexpectedly pleasant. Ever since he started living with Sanghyeok, he began to realize that he woke up quite early without any help of alarms. Most of the days, it was him who woke up before Sanghyeok and the 3rd year was definitely not a morning person with a permanent grimace on his face and was rarely able to form full sentences before he had his cup of coffee. So when he woke up and saw the face free of its glare, that was admittedly his source of entertainment every morning nowadays, he was surprised to say the least. He looked years younger and seeing him with all his guards completely down made Junsik realize how tense Sanghyeok must be normally. It was one of the rare times Junsik saw and felt the tangible mark that his less-than-ideal family history left him. He remembered how immediately tense Sanghyeok’s shoulders got when he was out of bed and his movements that were always collected and purposeful but still high-strung.

He could have marveled at the new face for a lot longer but he had a feeling that Sanghyeok probably wouldn’t appreciate it when he woke up so he forced himself out of the warm comforter and winced when his bare feet hit the cold floor. He made his way towards the kitchen and his hands almost automatically moved to make coffee.

It was when he was mindlessly looking at the morning news from the kitchen table that Sanghyeok stumbled out of his bedroom, his incredible bed hair in tow.

"Good morning, sunshine,” he greeted, smiling ear to ear at the familiar grunt. The barely awake 21-year-old shuffled his way around the kitchen, sighing out in relief at the first sip of his coffee.

"I’ll be gone for most of the afternoon and won’t be home for dinner I think. Got a group project meeting in school,” Sanghyeok yawned, rubbing the last trace of sleep from his eyes.

"Alright,” Junsik nodded, ignoring the disappointment at the idea of spending the rest of the day alone. Junsik headed out for his daily run a while later and Sanghyeok left soon after lunch. The snow had turned icy outside and after he cleaned as slowly as he could, finished his book, played Xbox for 3 hours and more or less lazed around, it was past 9pm and Sanghyeok was still nowhere to be seen. Junsik clucked, annoyed at the idea of him waiting around like a pet for Sanghyeok to return.

'Couldn’t hurt to get some air by myself,’ Junsik noted. He was always a sucker for walking around at night and while his old ‘job’ allowed him that almost daily, it was rare he ever had to now. He grabbed his own jacket, shoved his phone and key into his pockets before heading out into the sub-zero temperature. He shuddered at the wind that penetrated all his clothes like nothing but still smiled at the fresh air that chilled his lungs. ‘Guess there are some things that I miss about being on the streets,’ he thought amusedly.

He walked down a familiar path and vaguely noticed passing by the building where he first met Sanghyeok. It was only when he noticed that the feel and the noise of the crowd disappeared that he looked up. He turned in his spot and saw that his feet had taken him to the place he always hung around at night for clients and he felt a strange, creeping nostalgia. It has barely been more than a month since he started living with Sanghyeok and that was a sliver of time compared to the years he spent on the streets. It felt like coming back to a home that he never really wanted to visit again after leaving and it left a bitter-sour feeling in his mouth. He quickly turned around, knowing that it was late enough for people he didn’t want to run into to make themselves present.

But as luck would have it, the moment he turned around, his path was blocked by a burly figure. He didn’t look like someone looking for a whore by the clothes he was wearing. He swallowed nervously and made a motion to walk past but the figure moved ever so slightly in the same direction and he halted.

"Um…shit, look, I don’t want any trouble,” Junsik started, taking a step back, “I’m not meant to be here so, I’ll just make myself scarce.”

"Didn’t think I would see you again so soon,” the stranger jeered and Junsik felt a cold dread lapping at him. It was the last guy he had dealt with and he felt his body itch with both disgust and the desperate want to run away immediately.

"I said I don’t want any trouble,” Junsik repeated, keeping his head up but his body turned away defensively.

"Hey, hey, it’s not like I remember every whore I slept with, shouldn’t you be a bit happier?” the stranger swept his eyes over him appreciatively and Junsik felt his hair stand on edge and repressed the urge to shiver.

"I don’t do that shit anymore so let me go,” he gritted out.

"You don’t look so naïve to me; don’t you know people like us don’t just stop?” he sneered, stepping closer.

"Well I fucking did, so if you will excuse me,” Junsik snapped and pushed past him. Despite all his bravado, his heart dropped to his stomach when he felt his arm being grabbed and yanked harshly.

"You have a really filthy mouth, don’t you,” he narrowed his eyes at him but Junsik made a point to not look away. “So some 40-year-old pervert who likes his boys young take you in?”

"Shut your mouth,” Junsik hissed, his vision blurring with the sudden rush of anger.

"He’s just going to throw you out once you’re all used up. Going to fuck you once or twice before he gets bored.”

Junsik felt his fingernails dig into his palms when he clenched his fist unconsciously.

"Come on, something like you belong in dirty alleyways with me,” the man smiled contemptuously. “Whatever washed-up fucker that dragged you in can’t even compare to what I can do for you.”

As soon as the words left the man’s mouth, Junsik saw red and he swung at him with his free hand. He felt a warped pleasure at the crack his knuckles made against the bastard’s face and he paid no attention to the pain the bloomed throughout his hand soon after. He knew he was as good as gone when he threw the punch and sure enough, he received a responding punch to his cheek and he tasted iron. He doubled over in pain when he was struck in the abdomen and felt his lips split open when he was pummeled again. He saw black spots when he was pushed back against the brick wall.

'Shit,’ he swore, desperately searching for a way out. He flinched when he saw another punch headed towards him but it was halted in mid-action when a high-pitched laugh suddenly echoed through the streets. They both looked towards the sounds and it was a female prostitute laughing over-zealously her client’s joke. Junsik saw the distracted look in the stranger and he kicked at his stomach with all the strength he could muster and ran for his life as soon as he saw the opening, not bothering to look back. He kept running through the crowd and he didn’t stop to apologize as he shoved through with his shoulder. He only slowed down when he saw the apartment complex, his breath up to his throat. He clutched at the burning sensation in his lungs and limped towards the apartment, his cuts stinging at the warmer air. He was too occupied to just get somewhere _safe_ he didn’t even stop to think about how Sanghyeok would react. It was only when he entered the apartment and slumped against the closed front door in relief that he realized he made a mistake. When he saw the shoes that Sanghyeok always wore in the doorstep, he scrambled at the door handle, knowing he won’t like the conversation that was sure to follow his beaten-up appearance. He cursed when his frozen and busted hand fumbled and froze when a quiet voice spoke up from behind him.

"What the hell happened?” Sanghyeok asked, his voice audibly tense.

"Um…” Junsik hesitated.

"You never picked up your phone,” Sanghyeok continued, approaching him.

'Please don’t turn on the lights, please don’t turn on the lights,’ Junsik silently begged and groaned when he heard the flick of the switch.

"I can explain,” Junsik offered, looking away guiltily.

"...Were you back at your day job?” Sanghyeok asked and Junsik winced at the cutting and bitter tone but still felt a surge of aggravation at the rhetorical question.  

"What’s it to you,” he demanded, glaring back at him. “I don’t think I have to ask your permission to go outside, do I?”

"What did you do,” Sanghyeok challenged, not letting go of their eye contact.

"It’s none of your fucking business.”

"It’s my business whether you were out fucking someone for cash,” Sanghyeok shot back nastily, eyes glinting angrily.

"Then I guess I’ll make it so that it won’t be,” Junsik snarled, whirling around and wrenching the door open. He threw the house key down just before he shut the door and walked out, not bothering to wait for the elevator and taking the stairwell. He hated how much the words hurt him. It throbbed more than any of his cuts did. It throbbed so much he had to stop in middle of the staircase because his breath kept catching in his throat and made his eyes sting.

"Fuck,” he spat out, forcing himself to run down the stairs. Who was he to make him feel like this, he wanted to demand. He’s heard everything; he’s been called a whore a million of time, he’s been called homeless and useless but he didn’t care one bit because they were true for all he cared. And one jab from somebody he had known for barely a month has him feeling this wretched. He shuddered despite himself when he was outside but he didn’t pay any mind to the snow seeping into his shoes.

"Wait, stop. Please,” a breathless voice called, Sanghyeok’s, but Junsik didn’t turn around and sped up his pace, the wind against his face feeling cold enough to cut. Sanghyeok ran to catch up with him and hastily grabbed his arm, stopping him in his track.

"I’m sorry,” Sanghyeok begged, his breath condensing in the cold air, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said any of that.”

“I stayed long enough. I had to leave sooner or later,” Junsik replied, refusing to look at him.

“I meant it when I said I wanted you to stay,” Sanghyeok argued. “You’re hurt, just come back inside.”

“Why, is it your conscientiousness again?” hissed Junsik, finally raising his eyes to glower at him. And again, just like the first time, the eyes that met Junsik’s was too goddamn earnest and this time, it made his heart thump in a weird way.

“No,” Sanghyeok’s voice was surprisingly calm. “Out of self-interest.”

 

§§§

 

Sanghyeok managed to coax him into coming back and Junsik winced when his cuts and bruises started throbbing painfully as his body warmed up. Sanghyeok sat him down on the couch and it was a strange rendition of the first day when Junsik came into the apartment. He patched up his ribs and his lips and silently went on cleaning his bloody hands. The silence was almost comfortable and Junsik couldn’t help but notice just how gentle Sanghyeok was treating his wounds.

“Please don’t get hurt again,” Sanghyeok said softly, finishing the bandages on his knuckles. Junsik felt the weird throb again when Sanghyeok just held his hand in his own looking at it as if it’s the most fragile thing in the world. 

“Why did you get so pissed?” Junsik wondered, touching at his bandaged hands.

“…I hated the idea of anyone sleeping with you. Being with you that way,” Sanghyeok replied quietly, packing away the first-aid kit. Junsik stared after him when he moved to put it away.

“What does that mean?”

“It means what it means,” he said vaguely, moving to the kitchen without looking back

“Alright…well, I didn’t,” Junsik clarified, standing up and following after him. Sanghyeok turned around in surprise in midst of making coffee, his eyes round behind his glasses.

“What,” Junsik snorted at his reaction. “I’m not exactly desperate to sleep around with strangers for money.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?!” Junsik exclaimed, “That’s all you got to say?”

“What, no,” Sanghyeok shook his head, “I’m just…happy.”

And there it was, that soft smile that Junsik was too quickly becoming fond of. He coughed and turned around, grabbing mugs off the dish rack.

“Although, I have been thinking I should get a part time job one way or another. I don’t like sitting around the house as a free-loader.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Sanghyeok frowned, pouring coffee into the mugs.

“I want to. I don’t enjoy waiting for you to come back like a lonely dog either,” Junsik said, wrapping his hand around the mug and feeling the rest of the tension leave his body with the first sip.

“Alright, I can help you with that,” Sanghyeok nodded with a look of understanding that had Junsik feel a warm glow of gratitude. “Wait, so where are those injuries from?”

“Oh,” Junsik looked down at his bandaged hand again, “I ran into a douchebag that was my client once.”

“So, you decided to get in a fight with him?” Sanghyeok raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

“No, he just…talked some shit about you,” he explained dubiously, “Kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“Well, he called you a pervert and had the balls to compare himself to you,” Junsik continued, not taking his eyes off of his coffee, just realizing how dumb it sounded. He looked up when he heard a poorly concealed laugh from Sanghyeok. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Sanghyeok replied, hiding his face behind the mug.

“Tell me!” demanded Junsik, feeling his face heat up because the fucker was laughing at him.

“It’s cute.”

“Cute?!” Junsik blenched. Sanghyeok only nodded and turned away from him.  “You have one hell of a weird taste, you know that?” Junsik muttered, repeating the word ‘cute’ under his breath.

“I have been told.”

 

§§§

 

Sanghyeok had reluctantly gone to bed before him. He had to be up early for his class but was hesitant to leave him to his own devices. Junsik knew it was because he was afraid that he would up and leave again so he rolled his eyes and reassured that he won’t go anywhere. Sanghyeok had only nodded doubtfully before heading in to his bedroom. It was 2am when Junsik finally yawned, shutting off the TV. He sat in the dark for a moment, just thinking about the ridiculousness that he had someone expecting him to sleep, to come to home every night now after more than a decade of having no one and nothing. He really thought when he agreed to stay the first time, that he’ll be out before the end of the year. But Sanghyeok had eagerly talked to him about several part time jobs that wouldn’t require any education degrees. Jobs that he could actually progress in and perhaps be something more than part-time. It felt unreal thinking about it now and he was honestly disconcerted at the entirety of the situation.

He carefully made his way to the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Sanghyeok was sound asleep and he snuck inside the sheets, tucking his cold feet into the comforter. He blinked up at the ceiling, feeling too restless to fall asleep.

"Having a hard time falling asleep?” Sanghyeok asked, turning towards him but not opening his eyes.

"Sorry, did I wake you?” Junsik murmured apologetically.

"It’s fine,” came the muted reply. “Something wrong?”

"No, just…can’t sleep.”

Sanghyeok didn’t respond and Junsik sighed, assuming he fell asleep. He was about to give up and grab a book or another when Sanghyeok’s voice stopped him.

"Turn this way.”

"Huh?”

"Turn on your side,” Sanghyeok urged, opening an eye to look at him. Junsik frowned but did so, turning so that he was facing him, the right side of his face pressed against the pillow. “Close your eyes.”

Junsik closed his eyes but they flew back open immediately when he felt Sanghyeok’s thin hand gently cover his left ear, his fingers twisting through his hair.  

"I thought I told you to close your eyes,” Sanghyeok said.

"Sorry, sorry,” he muttered, shutting his eyes again. He could feel the others breath when he leaned in, gently bumping his forehead to his. His bangs tickled at his eyelids. Sanghyeok pressed his palm closer to his ear, shutting of most sounds.

"My mother used to do this for me when I was little and I couldn’t fall asleep. I used to do it for Wangho when our parents would argue at night too,” Sanghyeok explained faintly. Junsik hummed, finding the intimate gesture oddly comforting. If anything, all his attention went to the steady breathing of Sanghyeok and the tickling sensation of his fingers in his hair. He didn’t know how much time passed but he started drifting off and he could have sworn he felt the soft touch of chapped lips on his forehead before he sunk into unconsciousness.

 

§§§

 

Junsik had woken up uncharacteristically late and Sanghyeok was already gone by the time he got out of bed. He had sent him a text message about the left overs in the fridge and sure enough, there was enough food for breakfast and lunch.

And just like that, their regular rhythm was back; Sanghyeok always came back before dinner and when he couldn’t, they would meet up outside after his job and grab a late dinner. The only thing that threw them off their pattern was when Wangho came by without notice one Friday night. Junsik was happy to see him because he was, in all sincerity, a little human ray of sunshine. Wangho had rung the bell impatiently and Junsik had gone to open the door, annoyed, but fully dressed this time. Wangho’s face brightened when he saw him but it immediately turned into a frown. Junsik was bemused, wondering if the kid has already forgotten him.

"Junsikyi-hyung, what happened to your face?” Wangho asked with an adorably concerned expression.   

"Ah,” Junsik started, having completely forgotten about the cuts and bruises that still littered his face. He quickly searched his thoughts but before he could come up with a poor excuse, Sanghyeok came up from behind him.

"He had a fight with one of his street friends,” Sanghyeok explained drily, nudging Junsik aside, motioning Wangho to come in.

"A fight?” Wangho asked, alarmed, looking back and forth between he and Sanghyeok.

"Just a little brawl, nothing important,” Junsik waved him off, ruffling his hair and closing the door behind him. “You didn’t tell me he’s coming,” he glanced at Sanghyeok who gave a shrug.

"He didn’t tell me he was coming,” he replied, looking at his brother inquisitively. Wangho evaded his eyes, kicking off his shoes and silently making his way towards the living room. After sharing a look, they trailed after him, Sanghyeok sitting down beside him on the couch and Junsik quietly standing in the kitchen.

"Our parents were at it again,” Wangho explained quietly, picking at his blazer. “I returned home after my lessons and I heard them shouting and glass breaking.”

Sanghyeok didn’t respond and put a comforting hand on Wangho’s back, the look in his eyes nothing if not understanding.

"Is it alright if I stay here for tonight? I’ll sleep on the couch,” Wangho looked at Sanghyeok and Junsik hopefully and nobody could have refused with that puppy look on his face.

"Of course,” Sanghyeok replied, sounding almost offended that his brother had to ask. “But make sure you let our brother know, you know how he gets.”

"Awesome!” Wangho immediately took out his phone and typed away before looking at Junsik enthusiastically. “Hyung, are you ready to get outclassed in Battleground?”

Junsik snorted, walking into the living room. “Are _you_?”

"Hell yeah!”

And so started 3 hours of Battleground that went horribly because both of them frankly sucked at it which Sanghyeok never ceased to remind them in his spot on the couch. It was 11pm when Wangho had had enough and shut his laptop, sliding down on to the floor.

"Why did we even do this to ourselves,” he groaned, his blazer and neck tie long gone from his uniform.

"It was your idea if you remember,” Junsik lightly thwacked the back of his head, yawning as he stretched out.

"You should go to sleep if you’re not going to get any work done,” Sanghyeok reprimanded, picking up his laptop from Junsik. “You have lessons tomorrow morning too, right?”

"Ugh, yes I do,” Wangho sighed.

"Then time to sleep.”

"Yes, mother,” Wangho replied, sticking his tongue out at his older brother and hurrying towards the bedroom for a change of clothes before Sanghyeok’s kick could connect. Junsik chuckled at Sanghyeok’s muttered “smartass”.

"Get me a blanket or something, I’ll sleep on the couch for tonight,” Junsik threw over his shoulders as he carried the used cups to the sink.

"Why?”

"Were you planning for all three of us to sleep on the same bed?” Junsik asked sarcastically, looking over his shoulder.

"Well, no-,”

"Then shut up and get me a blanket. I’m not going to have Wangho sleeping in the living room.”

"...Thank you,” Sanghyeok replied after a short silence with the out of place sincerity in his voice that all he could do was nod.

"It’s nothing,” he murmured. After he was finished with the dishes, he turned around to find the comforter he used when he first started crashing on his couch neatly folded on top of the coffee table.

 

§§§

 

The coming Monday, he set off shortly before Sanghyeok had promised to come back from school. He had been searching online for part time jobs within walking distance of his apartment and he came across a café that was looking for a waiter, about 15 minutes away by foot. The job description had said no previous experience required but he was doubtful even as he approached the café. It was a medium sized place with tasteful decoration that was a perfect mixture between modern and urban, just outside the most crowded parts of the university streets that he and Sanghyeok frequented. He halted at the doorstep, looking for whoever was the manager.

"Hey, you here for the job interview?”

Junsik turned around to find a rather big man around his age with thick framed glasses and a good-natured expression that seemed perpetual. He was still surprised by the lack of formality both in his speech and posture that was rather rare. “Yeah”

"I’m Lee Jaewan, the manager of this place,” he extended his hand, which Junsik took as they moved to sit at two comfortable armchairs, facing each other.

"I’m Bae Junsik,” he offered, shifting around in the chair, feeling very much out of place.

"So, no prior experience, right?” the manager asked, turning his full attention to him.

"Yes.”        

"Doesn’t matter,” he reassured, “Why are you looking for a part time job?”

Junsik shrugged. “For some pocket money.”

Jaewan nodded slowly before regarding him with scrutiny. “Which parts?”

"Excuse me?” Junsik stammered, startled by the arbitrary question.

"I know someone from the streets when I see them,” Jaewan explained, leaning back into his chair, “My dad was knee deep in some underground trading and so was I before I left.”

Junsik searched the manager’s face, suspicious out of habit but when he didn’t break the eye contact, he nodded slowly.

"So which parts did you use to work? Not around here I suppose?”

"No, my job wasn’t exactly aimed towards university students,” Junsik explained and Jaewan nodded, not out of acknowledgement but of understanding.

"Alright, you can start coming in tomorrow. The shift’s flexible but I’ll be needing you to fill in the night shift on Tuesday and Fridays.”

"Wait, hang on,” Junsik stopped him, rather overwhelmed at the turn of the events. “You’re going to hire me just like that?”

"Yeah?”

"I mean, why? Because I’m a fellow colleague from the streets?”

"No,” Jaewan chortled, shaking his head, “You can lift heavy things right?”

"Yeah.”

"And you can wipe tables without stepping on anybody’s shoes?”

"Yeah.”

"Then, there you go. You will have to stay behind at least 3 times a week so I can teach you one or two things about being a barista but other than that, you are good to go,” Jaewan explained. “I’ll send you the details through Kakao.”

Junsik stared at this so-called manager and couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him at the sheer ridiculousness which Jaewan returned with a full grin.

"Hey, everybody’s got to start somewhere right,” Jaewan shrugged with a hearty chuckle, clapping him on the shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow for the night shift; it starts at 7. Come in a little earlier so I can introduce you to the other part-timer.”

"Alright, thanks boss,” Junsik grinned and he left the café, high in spirits with Jaewan reminding him to check his Kakao. He felt giddy and his steps felt too light, so instead of heading straight back to the apartment, he headed towards the bus stop that Sanghyeok got off at. He checked his phone and it was still a while until Sanghyeok probably arrived but he felt too excited to care. He sat at the bench, his nose and ears slowly becoming numb and he blew at his hands in a vain attempt to warm them. His shoulders were crunched up to his ears at the cold and just as he thought that maybe he should have called him, a familiar figure stepped out of the bus, wrapped up in a gray knit muffler scarf and the navy overcoat that he saw him in the second time they met. He chuckled at how half of his face was covered by the scarf and the tip of his nose and ears red with the cold; it was easily the most endearing thing he has seen. He stood up quickly, maneuvering around the people that came flooding out of the same bus. Sanghyeok noticed him soon enough and he grinned at the surprise that spread across the university student’s face.

"What are you doing out here?” Sanghyeok asked, bewilderment plain in his voice which quickly turned into disapproval once he saw his red ears and hands. “You’re freezing!”

"It’s fine,” he waved him off, shoving his hands into his pocket. “But guess what?” he asked, not able to keep the excitement out of his voice as they moved to the edge of the sidewalk to avoid the rush of people going in and out of the buses.

"What?” Sanghyeok looked genuinely curious, the slightest frown knitting his eyebrows.

"I got a part-time job. At this café at the edge of the plaza that we always go? I start tomorrow. You proud?” he beamed, puffing out his chest in a joking manner but the grin refusing to leave his face.

"What? Since when?” Sanghyeok exclaimed, his eyes going round but looking indefinitely pleased, “That’s amazing,” And he really _did_ look proud, a look that Junsik had rarely, if ever, received and he turned his back towards him, lest he noticed the undue blush that he knew was creeping up his face.

"Come on, let’s hurry back,” he murmured, feeling significantly less cold than just moments before.

 

§§§

 

Sanghyeok had insisted they eat out as a celebration and Junsik was never the one to refuse a good meal. They came back around 10, both of them cursing the heater for being out when they were greeted with the chilly air of the apartment. They let themselves thaw out, Junsik taking the first turn at the shower. He dried his hair and checked his Kakao for Jaewan’s messages. It informed him to wear black pants and that he was to come in 5 times a week in which 2 of them had to be night shifts on Tuesday and Fridays; he was free to choose his shifts besides the two days. He was expected to stay behind 3 times so that Jaewan could train him and until he learned enough, he was to bar the cashier, bring the orders and clean up. Reminding himself to ask Sanghyeok for the black pants, he moved to the kitchen for coffee, having learned a while back that caffeine barely has any effect on him whatsoever.

Sanghyeok made it out of the shower in the meanwhile, shuddering his way into the bedroom. He quickly followed after him, closing the door behind him.

"Hey do you have some black pants I can borrow,” he asked, setting his cup down, watching as Sanghyeok dug through his wardrobe for something thicker than the white t-shirt he was wearing.

"Sure,” he replied, taking his glasses off to shrug into a black hoodie. “Just take them from the bottom drawer, all of them should fit you.” He practically sprinted to the bed, eager to put himself underneath the comforters with an audible sigh.

"Aren’t you going to dry your hair?” Junsik nodded towards his still wet hair.

"It’s fine.”

"That’s surprising for somebody who acts like a mother all the time.”

"I do not,” Sanghyeok retorted and Junsik snorted at the glower that just made him look like a sulky 9-year-old.  

"Come on, I don’t want to sleep next to someone with wet hair,” he insisted, pulling out the hair dryer and plugged it in next to the bedpost. He looked down at Sanghyeok expectantly and after few seconds of staring each other down, Sanghyeok gave up with an annoyed sigh and he let out a victorious humph. Sanghyeok pulled himself out of the thick comforter and sat up with his knees hugged to his chest, facing away from him. All the noise, if any, was drowned as he turned the hair dryer on, and the hair underneath his fingers were coarser than it looked. He brushed his hand through the hair at his nape because the one thing he remembered from his nameless and faceless mother, was that she always used to tell him to make sure that the back of his head was dry before he slept and before he went out or else he’ll catch a cold. Probably a false statement but it stuck with him until now and it was a mindless act whenever he dried his nape first.

He turned off the hair dryer once the hair underneath his hand was dry and fluffy and Sanghyeok tweaked his neck like he does out of habit because he is always looking down at his books 24/7. Just then, he felt an unbelievable rush of overwhelming amalgamation of feelings and because he always acts before he thinks, as Sanghyeok was about to turn his head, he let go of his hair just to wrap his arms around the thin shoulders. He let his head rest at the crook of his collarbone and held on tightly, probably too tightly, because he didn’t know what he was feeling but it was all the way to his throat and he felt like he was choking on them and it was all because of (or for) this guy. He felt the body underneath him freeze but when he didn’t make any further movement, Sanghyeok slowly relaxed, gently laying a hand on his forearm.

Junsik tried to collect himself, the steady breathing of Sanghyeok helping him get his own breath back. Few minutes ticked on by before he found it in him to pull away with a hoarse “sorry” muttered under his breath. Not looking up to meet Sanghyeok’s inquiring eyes, he put away the hair dryer and slid himself underneath the comforters, his back towards him. He heard a faint rustle and a click that put them both into complete darkness as the light turned off. The bed creaked when Sanghyeok climbed back in and he felt a light tap at his back.

"Look at me,” Sanghyeok whispered softly and he complied, turning towards him. His eyes were barely adjusting to the darkness but he still could make out the glint of Sanghyeok’s eyes. And instead of his mind and head plunging into the messiness that it was just a moment ago, it made him calmer. He felt the familiar hand threading his hair behind his left ear and gently pulling his head forward until it rested on the bony chest. He closed his eyes, listening to the steady and sure heartbeat and feeling the warmth seep through his clothes. He started to drift off, wondering at the back of his mind how long it took for somebody to become necessary and figured he was pretty screwed in that aspect.

 

§§§

 

He woke up the next morning with 4 more limbs around him than he was used to. He groaned at the pins and the needles sensation that attacked his arm and he had to bite down the groan when he tried to unskillfully weave it out from under Sanghyeok.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck,”_ he whispered desperately when the said 21-year-old turned in his sleep, thankfully rolling off of his arm but nonetheless triggering the painful sensation that shot through his arm. He laid still until the unpleasant feeling was gone and he sat himself up, leaning against the bedpost while nursing his arm. Sanghyeok had his back towards him and his shirt had ridden up to reveal a sliver of his bare torso. He was so goddamned pale everywhere, he looked like he never got an ounce of sunlight in his life. The loose shirt he had on didn’t spare him any and his eyes strayed towards the exposed neck and collarbones, his mouth drying. He quickly jumped off the bed, not willing to test his own patience and shut the door behind him as quietly as possible. He let out a breath of relief, shuddering at the cold air that greeted him in the living room.

He splashed cold water onto his face, washing away the last trace of sleep and tread into the kitchen. The sight that greeted him the first minute of his morning was more pleasant he liked to admit and he was having a hard time getting it out of his head. ‘ _The heater better get fixed soon_ ,’ he thought, going through the motions as he made their daily pot of coffee and consciously or not, deciding to not pay mind the voice in the back of his head that told him there was nothing holding him back from crashing on the couch. He poured himself some coffee and leaned back against the kitchen counter, nursing the warm mug. He jumped at the sound of the door opening and smirked at the bed hair that never ceased to amaze him.

"Morning,” he greeted and guffawed at the incorrigible grunt that came as a reply. Sanghyeok trudged towards him and Junsik watched as he clumsily reached for a cup and precariously poured himself the caffeinated drink. After the first sip, he let out an audible sigh of appreciation. And to Junsik’s surprise, Sanghyeok relaxed against his side, his arm and hips barely pressing into his. He tried his hardest to not move, not wanting the comforting warmth on his side to lean away. He felt a slight vibration as Sanghyeok spoke.

"What’s the plan today?”

"I should be at the café soon. I’ll head out with you, you don’t have to leave as early today, right?”

Sanghyeok nodded and the comfortable silence stretched out for the next few minutes. Just when he was getting hazy with sheer contentment, Sanghyeok leaned away and he suppressed a noise of disappointment and instead put his cup down in the sink. The two of them proceeded to get ready, and Junsik was satisfied to find that Sanghyeok’s pants fit him fine. It was nearing 10 when they headed out and Junsik buried himself closer to his jacket, shuddering at the sub-zero temperature. At a crossroad, Sanghyeok stopped and looked at him expectantly and when Junsik only looked back with a puzzled expression, he spoke up.

"Aren’t you supposed turn here to go to the café?”

"Yeah,” Junsik answered, nudging him forward when the light turned green.

"Then why are you crossing the road?”

"I’m walking you to the bus stop,” he answered, not thinking much of it. But he soon became aware of the odd stare that Sanghyeok was giving him and looked away, feeling his cheeks flush. “I still have some time before I have to be there.”

"That’s nice of you,” Sanghyeok remarked, his lips twitching before giving him reprieve by looking away.  “When will you be returning?”  

"A shift is 4 hours so around 4,” he replied. Sanghyeok nodded thoughtfully before abruptly turning his head back towards him.

"Good luck on your first day of work,” he said with barely concealed excitement and Junsik looked away, trying to stave off the nerves that were creeping on him.

"Don’t scare off any customers,” he teased, nudging his side. “With that scowl you got, nobody’s going to dare order anything.”

"What scowl,” Junsik frowned which only prompted Sanghyeok to laugh out loud.

"That one,” he said, pointing at his face.

"Thanks, stomp all over my confidence on my first day.”

Sanghyeok only laughed harder as they reached the bus stop and he tried to stay annoyed but his laugh was too endearing and it made it way easier to overlook that it was at his own expanse.

"See you later, jerk,” he said, half-heartedly pushing him towards the bus that had just arrived. And his heart unmistakably skipped a beat when Sanghyeok looked back before he stepped into the bus, the corners of his lips pulled up into pretty smile. Junsik stared after the bus that was fast disappearing from his sight and thought that he never missed a person so fast. He hesitantly turned back and retraced his steps back, a shaky sigh leaving his mouth in a cloud of condensed air.

_'You can lie to yourself as much as you want, dumbass, you’re in love.’_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: i know this is awfully late and it was weird writing about winter setting when it is absolutely sweltering...but you know, better late than never?? right??? right.... T^T 
> 
> I am very, very unsatisfied with this chapter but I don't think I could have done better and it was already too damn late so, i hope it doesnt read as bad as it does to me LOL 
> 
> Thank you for all those who bare with my ridiculous updates!!!!

_1 month and 1 week later_

 

It was late December with Christmas almost upon them within a matter of days. The whole city seemed to be in celebration mode with lights, the carols and the uniforms all in holiday spirits.Junsik’s workplace was not an exception; Jaewan had him and Sungu hang Christmas decorations although they were saved from wearing any humiliating accessories. 

The past few weeks, Junsik had managed to familiarize himself with the new routines and the new environment. On his first day, Jaewan had introduced him to the other part-timer, Sungu, who was a second year university student. He had decided that he liked the guy when he greeted him with an awkward smile and gave him a taste of coffee that he brewed that was _almost_ as good as the one Sanghyeok made every morning. His lips twitched when he remembered the time Sanghyeok came to the café during his shift for the first time. It turned out by the purest coincidence that Sungu was a hubae of Sanghyeok’s. Junsik had shook his head despairingly when he found that the majority of the people he knew now belonged to SNU and Jaewan had chortled loudly, patting his back in an attempt to comfort.

He had ways to go but he now managed to whip up anything in the menu and Jaewan decided to give him a break until next year with his extra sessions after his shifts. This had meant that he finished his work 30 minutes after Sanghyeok finished his and it had silently become their routine for Sanghyeok to wait for his shift to end at the café and go back home together. Sungu obviously looked up to Sanghyeok and it reminded Junsik of a dog (a Shiba Inu perhaps?) every time he perked up and greeted his sunbae. 

He glanced at the clock; it was just past 9:30. 

“Waiting for your boyfriend?” Jaewan mused, walking towards the counter. He rolled his eyes at the ever-so stale joke. After failing to convince both Jaewan and Sungu otherwise, he had given up on correcting them. So as long as it didn’t come up in Sanghyeok’s presence, he was willing to let it go. 

“Must be good, having someone to spend the Christmas with,” Sungu sighed out from besides him. 

“What happened to that girl you couldn’t stop talking about?” Junsik asked, grinning at the obvious blush that appeared against Sungu’s tan cheeks. 

“We aren’t together. Besides, she says she’s got to spend it with her family,” Sungu retorted, suddenly busy with wiping down the counter that was already squeaky clean. The sound of the door opening stopped Junsik from teasing him further and he looked up to see Sanghyeok entering the café with an obvious look of relief at the warm interior. He nodded at Sungu and Jaewan’s usual greetings and approached Junsik with a small smile. 

“Hi.”

“Hey, just 20 more minutes,” Junsik replied and Sanghyeok moved to his usual spot by the wall. His eyes followed his roommate as he sat himself down, taking off his bag and scarf. The lighting above emphasized his facial features and he frowned at the darkened eye bags. Despite the exam period ending, Sanghyeok was still working days and night on his projects and his part-time shifts didn’t help.He supposed, being in his final year and all, it couldn’t be helped. Sungu nudged him, handing him a new order and he shook his head, walking towards the espresso machine. He placed the drink onto the pick-up counter, vaguely hearing the customer pick up the glass mug, Sungu thanking her with a smile.

‘The idiot is taking on more than he can handle,’ he thought, throwing away the used coffee ground. Giving a quick sweep of the café, he made sure that there weren’t any new customers and made his way towards Sanghyeok. He sat down opposite him with a sigh of relief and Sanghyeok looked at him dubiously. 

“Shouldn’t you be working?”

“It’s fine, nobody needs me right now,” he replied, waving his hand dismissively. 

Sanghyeok hummed in reply but still looked speculative. 

“Never mind me and my work,” Junsik rolled his eyes, “You need to take a break from yours.”

“What do you mean?”

“Those dark circles around your eyes are about to consume your whole goddamn face.” 

Sanghyeok pulled a face but his retort was interrupted by a splitting sound of glass breaking. Junsik turned his head towards to sound to find a customer standing frozen with her drink spilled. She had collided with Jaewan and while she started rattling out a string of apologies, Jaewan was trying to placate her. He made a motion to help out but Jaewan waved him away before he was even out of his chair. Eyeing the mess doubtfully, he turned back towards Sanghyeok only to be alarmed by what he saw. 

Sanghyeok’s whole body was pulled tight as a string, his fingers digging into his arms. His shoulders were turned away from the sound as if to protect himself and the eyes behind the glasses were wide and unfocused, looking somewhere far beyond the table. Unnerved by how haunted the unfocused eyes seemed, he frowned, frantically searching his head for what went wrong. It came to him when the conversation they had with Wangho flashed in his mind:

 

_“Our parents were at it again,” Wangho explained quietly, picking at his blazer. “I returned home after my lessons and I heard them shouting and glass breaking.”_

 

The sound must be his trigger, he slowly put it together. As fine as Sanghyeok seemed, one thing or another from the past abuse must have stuck with him. 

“Are you alright?” he whispered, unconsciously reaching towards the tensed shoulder. He felt his heart pull at the barely suppressed flinch and quickly took his hand back. Berating himself for the thoughtless motion, he kept his distance. He leveled his head to meet Sanghyeok’s lowered one and tapped the table to get his roommate’s attention. As if physically wrenched away from whatever memory he was recalling, he shook his head and his eyes finally focused back to the present before meeting his. 

“Hey, it’s ok,” he reassured, holding his gaze. After a moment, the tension in his shoulders left just a little bit and Sanghyeok nodded. His loosened his fingers around his arm but they were trembling ever so slightly. This time, much more carefully and slowly, Junsik reached towards him, wrapping his fingers around the unsteady ones. Sanghyeok blinked up at him in surprise. The look assured him that he didn’t cross any boundaries he shouldn’t have and Junsik leaned down to rest his head on his arm, keeping their hands out of other people’s view.

After a brief moment of silence, Junsik felt the thin fingers hesitantly wrap around his own and the tension he didn’t know was there left his body. He felt his insides warm and he hid his face into then crook of his elbow, not wanting to let out how happy and relieved the little gesture left him. 

 

§§§

 

The 24 th approached after a couple of days and Jaewan had insisted that he and Sungu take a break on the 25 th and 26 th . Sungu had decided to give his family a visit and Junsik had reluctantly accepted the break. After his shift ended in the evening, he stepped out of the café after wishing both of his coworkers a happy holiday. He was surprised to find a thin layer of snow piling up on the pavements and tilted his head up to find snow still falling from the gray sky. He mused silently; this must be the first time he wasn’t cursing at the snow. He never quite had the luxury to appreciate the snow or the concept of a white Christmas before. 

It was just past 7 and the streets were starting to fill with couples and family out to enjoy Christmas Eve’s night. 

‘I wonder if Sanghyeok celebrates Christmas,’ he thought. The university student had never mentioned it and only sent him off to his work today with the usual greetings. Despite himself, he stopped in front of the bakery where they had rows of decorative holiday cakes on display. He chewed at his lower lip before walking in with an air of determination. 

‘What the hell, a little celebratory gesture can’t hurt.’ 

He had been careful, or at least he tried, to act neutral around Sanghyeok. Not much had changed at all, but he had to keep his ridiculous yearning to himself which at times proved to be hard. For instance, despite maintenance havingbeen finished long before, neither of them had spoken up about changing their sleeping arrangements. It remained his own secret at how content he was spending the first few minutes of his day just feeling the familiar warmth beside him and laugh silently at the absurd bed hair that was unfailingly present every morning. 

He smiled distractedly at the clerk handing him the boxed cake and his way back didn’t feel as cold as before. The apartment building came into view and he squinted his eyes when he saw a small figure crouching at the steps. As he got closer, he saw the familiar high school uniform peeking out from the long padding jumper. 

“Wangho?” 

The figure jumped at his name being called out and Wangho’s eyes widened when he recognized Junsik. 

“Hyung?” 

“What the hell are you doing out here?!” Junsik demanded, ushering him inside the building, glaring at the ears and hands that had turned an angry red from the cold. 

“I…wanted to spend Christmas with you guys. But I was about to change my mind.”

“Why?” he frowned, waiting for the elevator. 

“I didn’t want to intrude.”

“Now that’s just stupid,” Junsik snorted and Wangho pouted but he didn’t miss the passing look of relief. Junsik opened the door to the apartment, hiding his excitement at how Sanghyeok would react. As the two of them toed off their shoes, he heard Sanghyeok’s footsteps coming from the living room. 

“Hey, you’re early today,” Sanghyeok noted and when he saw both Junsik and Wangho standing in the doorway, his eyebrows jumped at the unexpected visitor. 

“Wangho?” 

“Hi hyung,” Wangho greeted with his charming smile which immediately turned into a grumble when Sanghyeok mussed up his hair. 

“Why are the two of you coming back together?” 

“I wanted to spend the day with you and Junsik-yi hyung,” Wangho replied, dropping his bag and his coat at the couch. 

“They let you come? On Christmas?” Sanghyeok asked, his eyebrows raised in surprise. 

“No, I just told them I’m spending the day with friends,” Wangho shook his head ruefully. 

“The more the merrier,” Junsik shrugged and set the cake at the kitchen counter. “Actually good thing you came; we can probably finish this off today then.”

“Hey, is that cake?! It’s been ages since we did anything for Christmas,” Wangho exclaimed excitedly as he practically bounced towards the kitchen. “Hey, hyung, doesn’t this remind you of when we were little? Junggyunyi-hyung (kkOma) would buys us cake and the three of would watch _Home Alone_ in our room.”

“Yeah, it does,” Sanghyeok nodded, a gentle smile on his face. 

“I’ve never watched _Home Alone,_ ” Junsik commented, carefully taking out the cake from the box. 

“You’ve never watched _Home Alone_?!” 

And by the siblings’ tone, Junsik thought he had committed a serious crime of some sort and he looked at the brothers, caught somewhere between amused and offended. 

“No?”

“Okay, that settles it, we’re spending Christmas Eve watching _Home Alone_ ,” Wangho said with a note of finality. 

And that had the 3 of them squeezed into the couch 30 minutes later, each with a piece of cake or two. Junsik was rather bored half way into the movie but he found it impossibly adorable how the two of them were so absorbed in it. He was amazed to find, once more, the similarity in their expression. And soon, he was watching the brothers’ reaction than the actual movie and it was far more entertaining. 

It was almost 11 by the time the movie finished, and Wangho immediately jumped up from the couch, yawning loudly. 

“I’m going to go take a shower. I’m borrowing hyung’s clothes for the night,” Wangho said over his shoulder as he disappeared into the bathroom. The sound of the shower being turned was heard and Sanghyeok sighed as he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. 

“How did you like the movie?” he asked, stretching his legs before folding them back up. 

“Mediocre. But I can see why you would watch it as kids.”

“Mediocre?!” Sanghyeok cried with a halfhearted shock, his eyes crinkling up with humor. Junsik snorted but a grin crept up nonetheless. Comfortable silence trickled by, only intermittently interrupted by the sound of the shower.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Sanghyeok whispered and Junsik noticed that he could see his eyes so much more clearly without the glasses. 

“Me too,” he smiled, hoping Sanghyeok heard it with as much sincerity as he had said it and his heart skipped almost violently when he felt him gingerly rest his head on his shoulder. It was a completely innocent gesture but his heartbeat sped up. It wasn’t such a bad sensation. 

“Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah…Merry Christmas.” 

 

§§§

 

Wangho stuck around until early afternoon the next day, only to be gently urged by Sanghyeok to return home after 2 missed calls from his mother. Wangho had stubbornly refused to be pushed out of the apartment until he got Junsik to promise him a free coffee when he visited his café for the first time. Junsik shook his head out of affection as he closed the door behind the high school student. 

“I thought you guys were rich, why is he so keen on getting free coffee,” Junsik muttered, sauntering back to the living room. 

“He just wants to see you at work,” Sanghyeok chuckled, sitting in his usual place in front of the coffee table with his work laid out. “That reminds me, I still haven’t gotten free coffee yet either.”

“Because you never asked for it,” Junsik snorted, making himself comfortable on the couch. 

“Have I been depriving myself of free coffee the past month?” Sanghyeok asked, looking downright incredulous and Junsik let out a bark of laughter. 

“Will it make it better if I said you can come by tomorrow and get a free coffee then?”

Sanghyeok turned away with a disdained face that he usually only saw directed towards Wangho. 

“It won’t make up for _all_ the lost coffee but you can start making up for it starting tomorrow.”

“Yes, yes,” Junsik nodded, all the while thinking he’d happily brew a life’s worth of free coffee for his weirdass roommate. 

 

§§§

 

He caught himself looking at the clock more often than he usually did the next day. Sungu had already finished his shift for the day and at 10pm, the amount of customers was always very little if any. 

“You idiot, what are you getting nervous for,” he muttered to himself because really, he has been wiping down the same counter for the past 30 minutes. He slumped down on to the chair behind the counter, fidgeting with his phone. He vaguely heard the muffled whispers and giggles, only managing to wrench his eyes away from the clock when it became loud enough for him to make out the words. 

“It’s alright, he’s alone right now,” a brunette was tugging along her shorter friend who looked less than convinced. Junsik quirked his eyebrow, wondering what the fuss was about and he inadvertently met the eyes of the brown haired girl, who looked bold if nothing else. She perked up and him being as smooth as he was, stood up awkwardly when they approached towards the cashier desk. 

“Hi, sorry, but do you have some time?” the taller one spoke up, looking at him eagerly. Taken aback by the enthusiasm, he looked around but everybody was immersed in their own business. 

“Uh, yeah, I suppose.”

“My friend here came to this café for quite a while and she seems to really like you.”

“W-wait-,” the shorted, petite, black haired girl stuttered and even with her head bowed down, he could see her reddening. 

“Do you mind giving her your phone number and you guys can get together to chat or something?” 

“Uh-,”

And he felt as stupid as he sounded because what the hell was he supposed to say here? I’m sorry but I’m in an unrequited love with a genius of a moron who happens to be my roommate. And also, did I mention that it is a _he_? Even to him that didn’t quite sound right. While the gears in his head were grinding as fast as they can, he was saved from having to answer immediately when he saw Sanghyeok approach the cashier. 

“Hey!” Junsik called, waving his arm above his head when he saw the familiar face, flushed with the cold. Sanghyeok gave him the usual nod but his eyes quickly strayed to the two girls. Before he could say anything more, Sanghyeok turned away and walked towards his normal spot. 

‘What’s with him?’ Junsik wondered, watching as he took off his bag and his coat. The girl was looking at him expectantly and he sighed internally before giving the pair a rueful grin. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m taken.”

“Aww…by who?!” the brunette genuinely looked disappointed while her friend still remained silent, looking down at her feet. 

“By him,” he pointed in Sanghyeok’s general direction, positive that he probably had his head buried in a book already. 

“Oh…Oh!” the black haired girl finally spoke, blushing even harder than he thought humanly possible. As the silence stretched out, he scratched his head, suddenly too unsure of where his hands were supposed to be.

“..So yeah, that’s how it is.” 

“I-, I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” the petite girl spoke again, looking genuinely apologetic, making him feel even more awkward. 

“No, no, nothing to be sorry about,” he waved, feeling abashed. 

“Well, that’s too bad, sorry for interrupting your work” the brunette spoke, looking thoroughly let down for her friend, before turning away. He shook his head at the retreating backs because, in all honesty, he envied them a little.

‘Can’t believe they have more balls than I do.’ 

He let his hands lead when making Sanghyeok’s coffee, using a coffee mug instead of take out. Silently thankful for the two girls for loosening up his nerves, he made his way towards the corner, where he found Sanghyeok with a book as expected. 

“Here. The first of many free coffee that I expect you to coerce out of me.” 

Sanghyeok looked up, dog-eared his book before shoving it back into his bag. He silently took the cup in his hands, and sipped appreciatively, a small smile forming around his lips. 

“Definitely better than the coffee you made the first time around.” 

Junsik let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and grinned. 

“Come on, that’s not a fair comparison. I hadn’t ever even tasted non-instant coffee till then.” 

His smile faltered when Sanghyeok didn’t respond but only silently stared into the cup. 

‘I knew it, something’s on his mind,’ he thought, settling himself on the opposite chair. He watched as his roommate brought the cup to his mouth again, his eyes wondering around the café. 

“You…,” Sanghyeok trailed off and Junsik raised a questioning eyebrow when he didn’t continue. Sanghyeok cleared his throat and he looked away almost sheepishly, but his eyes must be playing some damn tricks on him because was that a _blush_ he saw? While he gaped at his flushed roommate, Sanghyeok continued while looking at everywhere but him. “Those two girls…They seemed to like you.”

“Huh?” Junsik spluttered. His heart was about to give way to the violent assault it just received from a red-faced, bashful Sanghyeok. The mentioned assailant cleared his throat again and put down the mug, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. 

“…It’s nothing.”

“Wait, wait, wait, it’s not nothing,” Junsik leaned in, and it felt like two strings were pulling at the corner of his mouth because he couldn’t stop smiling. Was it _allowed_ for a grown man to be this endearing?

“What are you smiling for?!” Sanghyeok demanded, tragically failing to be threatening with the tips of his ears glowing. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it but,” he swallowed, still grinning ear to ear, “am I sensing jealousy?” 

It might have been better if he denied it outright but Sanghyeok simply looked away, his lips stubbornly pursed and the glee bubbling in his chest finally broke out. 

“Stop laughing!” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he gasped, but the laughter didn’t stop and his cheeks hurt from all the grinning. “I never thought I’d see you jealous, least of all, jealous of me.” 

“I’m not jealous of _you_ ,” Sanghyeok muttered, looking down at the floor, the reddened face turning into a softer hue. The emphasized last word held much more weight than either of them were ready to take on, but of course his brain, with the lack of oxygen it was receiving, couldn’t finish processing it before his roommate stood up.

“Come on, let’s get back, it’s getting late,” Sanghyeok picked up his bag, and without waiting for his response, walked out. Watching the thin figure retreat, Junsik placed his hand over his heart, just to make sure it hasn’t overworked itself. 

‘You are living with a dangerous, dangerous man, Junsik,’ he sighed, flinching at his chair scraping before searching for Jaewan to end his shift. 

 

§§§

 

The two days before New Years, both of them had their days off and Junsik was more than content to have his quiet, peaceful morning with Sanghyeok. But it didn’t last long when the bell rang just before they were about to head out for lunch. 

“You know, you sure have a lot of visitors,” he grunted, moving his legs from the table to let Sanghyeok through. He only hummed in reply before opening the door. Junsik craned his neck to see who it was. 

“Hi,” the man at the door beamed, the wrinkles that formed around his eyes reminding him strangely of Sanghyeok. 

“Hyung?” Sanghyeok exclaimed, his eyebrows disappearing into his bangs. “What are you doing here?”

“A business meeting. I thought I’d come pay you a visit.”

The man, whom he made out to be Sanghyeok and Wangho’s older brother, was wearing a well-fitted suit with a long coat, looking all business, but there was an amiable air about him. He was shorter than he’d imagined him to be, falling just an inch shorter than Sanghyeok, and he looked quite young for his age if not for the absolutely adoring face he had on for his younger brother that made him look like a smitten parent. 

“You should have told me you were coming,” Sanghyeok muttered, making way for his brother. 

“I wanted to surprise you,” he smiled, taking his shoes off and tugging at his scarf. Sanghyeok took his bag and set it on the couch with practiced ease. Junsik stood up, not sure whether he was welcome to stay or not. “Hi, you must be Junsik, I’m his brother, Junggyun” the man offered him his hand before he could decide for himself, the smile remaining on his face but his eyes searching. 

“Ah, yeah, that’s me,” he took the hand, and the handshake was brief but firm. “You knew about me?” 

“Of course, Sanghyeok told me so much about you.”

“He did?” he asked because he was genuinely surprised. He looked towards his roommate but he was busying himself in the kitchen. 

“Rather, he doesn’t talk about anything else _but_ you. Both him and Wangho in fact,” he laughed, a mischievous glint in his eyes that he learned to associate with Wangho. Sanghyeok, in the meanwhile, stubbornly kept his back towards them. 

“Well, I suppose I am fascinating,” he grinned, hearing Sanghyeok snort while his brother only laughed harder. “What did he say about me?”

“Let’s not go there,” Sanghyeok intervened, nudging him away from his brother. “But why are you _really_ here?”

“What do you mean?” his brother asked, sitting himself down. 

“I know you’re a busy man, you don’t ever visit without a reason,” he quirked his brows, sitting down next to his brother. 

“Haha! I suppose, I suppose,” he smiled ruefully. “I wanted to see if you’re taking care of yourself.” 

“Hmm?”

“You haven’t cut down on your work shifts have you?” he asked, a stern tone entering his voice and Junsik could see the glimpse of a strict elder brother Wangho made him out to be. Sanghyeok looked away in a way that Junsik could only describe as petulant and he pursed his lips to hide a smile at the rare sight. 

“I’m handling it.”

“No you aren’t,” Junggyun sighed, “I told you that you are still entitled to our family’s assets. You are a student. You should be focused on studying, not working.”

“I don’t think our parents agree,” Sanghyeok muttered, stilling avoiding his brother’s eyes. 

“It doesn’t matter if they don’t. You are going to be working yourself to death. I honestly thought you’d be less stubborn about this once I took over our dad’s business” he smiled wryly. Sanghyeok threw him an apologetic smile in return but still remained silent. Junggyun searched his face and it felt like an unspoken conversation between the two brothers and he stared, fascinated. 

‘I guess blood is blood,’ he wondered, faintly feeling envious for the siblings he never had, or never got to know. He was startled out of his musing when Junggyun stood back up with a heavy sigh, picking up his coat. 

“Well, I thought it was worth a try. You are still stubborn as ever,” Junggyun ruffled his brother’s hair, laughing when he swatted his hand away. “Take care of him?” He looked at Junsik, more of a request than anything else. 

“It’s recently become my hobby,” he shrugged standing up after him. 

“Right, the next time I see you will probably at Wangho’s graduation, so take care till then,” Junggyun was led to the door by Sanghyeok and with one last glance at Junsik, the door clicked shut after him. Sanghyeok sat down on the couch and Junsik, from his standing position, noticed that the dark circles were still there. 

“He’s right you know.”

“About what?” Sanghyeok furrowed his brows. 

“About you working too hard. I figure you like studying and working but you are about to look like a goddamn corpse if you don’t start taking it easy.” 

Junsik expected either silence or for him to wave his worries away because he knew how stubborn his soft-spoken roommate can get sometimes, but all he heard was a quiet chuckle. 

“You were worried for me?” he asked, looking up at him with his tilted up towards him, a pleased smile on his face.

“What, are you surprised?”

“No, I’m happy.” 

“Wh-,” he became speechless and turned away grumbling about idiots with their stupid, defenseless smiles. It was absolutely not because he had to hide his face that probably gave away how much he adored the said smile on him. 

“I’ll cut my shifts down.”

“Huh?” he turned back around, surprised at the submission. 

“I was getting stretched pretty thin. I don’t want to half-ass everything that I’m doing. Besides I can’t have you worrying over me,” he added with a mischievous glance. Before he could even attempt to take back his words, Sanghyeok stood up, grabbing his coat in the process. “Come on, let’s go eat. You pay this time around.”

 

§§§

 

Junsik had never been so confused in his life. Despite his life being quite the mess, he was always sure of what he had to do. It was very simple; if he had more than one option, he just had to choose the one that was in his own best interest. This was different. This involved one more person whom he cares very much for. And it was the very same person that had him perplexed. 2 months or so is a very short time for knowing someone. Yet, Sanghyeok got him so whipped and wrapped around his fingers tight, he couldn’t deny it even if he wanted to. This unspoken _thing_ between them has been at the back of his mind as a constant internal conflict for some time now. It was slowly eating away at him and he was never a patient man. 

All the while, he watched as the TV lights flickered across Sanghyeok’s face. It was the night before New Years and they had spent the night in with take outs. He inwardly sighed, knowing that no amount of thinking will help him get close to any answers. Lost in his thoughts, he jumped when a loud crackle sounded outside the window. Whipping his head around, he saw the fireworks flower in the sky and a quick glance at the clock showed him that it had already struck 12. 

“Hey, the fireworks, you can see it from here,” Junsik pointed out the window, fascinated by how bright they seemed against the night sky. He jumped over Sanghyeok’s legs, opening the window to the balcony and stepping out, paying no mind to the freezing air. He barely heard him grumble behind him when the wind rushed in but stood up anyways to stand next to him, leaning against the railing. They stood in silence, both staring at the fireworks, momentarily forgetting that they were standing barefoot with a thin layer of clothing in a subzero temperature. Their breath fogged in the air and Junsik suppressed a smile when Sanghyeok leaned in, their shoulders touching. 

“You were right,” Sanghyeok muttered so quietly, Junsik almost didn’t catch it. 

“I usually am,” he grinned, not taking his eyes off the colored sky. “But about what?” 

“Nobody does anything for anybody for free.”

It took him a moment to figure out what Sanghyeok was referring to. He mouthed a silent ‘oh’ when he remembered the first day they started living together. He was surprised that it was barely three months ago when it felt like it’s been far more than that. 

“How come?” he asked warily, casting a side glance at Sanghyeok who was staring intently ahead of him. He gave a light shrug, turning his head away, out of his line of sight. 

“Hey, come on, you can’t just start something and not finish it,” he poked at his side, genuine curiosity building up as Sanghyeok still refused to look at him. 

“I…”

“Yeah?” he encouraged. 

“Do you remember when you were over at the apartment the first time?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“…I wasn’t planning at all to ask you to stay.”

“Well, that puts you a little closer to the average line of people,” he smirked, remembering very clearly his first night over. Sanghyeok let out a breathy laugh, his eyes faltering down to the ground, still avoiding him. 

“When you were about to leave, I still don’t know what came over me, but the next thing I knew, I’m telling you to stay.” 

“I _am_ a catch, aren’t I,” he grinned, earning a smack in the back of his head. “…For all it’s worth, I’m glad you asked me to stay.”

“Hmm?” Sanghyeok glanced at him, a slight smile playing around his lips. 

“Don’t make me say it again,” he grumbled and it was his turn to avoid his gaze. “I’m glad that you are a weirdass who’d ask a stranger to stay over.” _Or else, I wouldn’t have been able to properly meet you_ , he added silently. 

“Me too,” Sanghyeok nodded with an unreadable expression. 

“Hmm…”

“I was curious at first, when we ran into each other in that alleyway.”

“Y-yeah?” he stumbled over his reply. 

“The second time, I thought it was by pure coincidence…but I was still glad anyways.”

“You did make one hell of an impression on me,” he chuckled, remembering the way Sanghyeok had asked for his name out of the blue. 

“Then I met you for the third time and I thought, it’d be nice if I was able to keep seeing you like this.”

“…”

“And when I thought…you wanted to leave, I got angry.” 

“…I remember that too,” he murmured, watching Sanghyeok’s knuckles turn white from gripping the railings.

“I knew I had no right to be angry, but I don’t think I was ready,” Sanghyeok whispered, his breath fogging in the night air. 

“Ready?”

“I didn’t expect it to bother me so much, even if it was from a misunderstanding,” he continued, the words almost tripping over each other as if he’s been holding it back for so long, “…I guess I didn’t realise how big my feelings were then.”

“…” 

“Like I said, out of self-interest.”

Sanghyeok finally met his eyes and by all gods, this _had_ to be cheating. His eyes crinkled up into that wry smile of with with the faintest blush lighting up his face and that was the last straw before he threw all caution to the wind. He wrapped his fingers around the back of his neck before pulling him in, and their lips met with more force than he intended. But it didn’t stop him from savoring it, all the way from the awkward angle, the bright flashes of the fireworks behind his eyelids and the dry, chapped lips. He could hear his heartbeats in his ears, and his other hand wrap around the thin, thin wrist, pulling him closer. Everything about it was unadulterated and he didn’t want to pull away just yet, because he didn’t know kisses could be so _sweet_ after all this time. 

“Happy New Years,” he murmured after tearing himself away, keeping his eyes closed. The looks, the light touches, the careful words were all behind the carefully drawn line and the kiss just downright jumped it. Sanghyeok remained still and he cursed at himself as he started to feel regret washing in like a cold wave. He was too scared to open his eyes and he felt like crawling into a goddamn hole and dying when he felt a pull on his shirt. And despite all his fears, his eyes flew open and Sanghyeok (grinning, the little bastard) kissed him again. It was softer this time and he lets himself lean into it, feeling Sanghyeok’s warm fingers gingerly touch his face. It ends too quickly again and he had catch himself from being greedy but Sanghyeok’s face, when he sees it, makes it worthwhile. 

“Happy New Years,” he smiles a smile just for him, and Junsik thinks in the back of his mind, that he’s the happiest he has ever been and resolves to cherish every second of it. 

 

§§§ 

 

The next morning comes around with much less awkwardness than Junsik was expecting. Sanghyeok had rolled out of the bed, murmuring incoherently about showering, with that incredible bed hair of his in tow and left him to make the morning coffee. Refraining the urge to smile stupidly at the retreating back, he pulled the cover off him, letting himself sink into the normal routine. He slipped into a hoodie before shuffling towards the kitchen. Inhaling appreciatively at the smell of the coffee brewing, he picked up two mugs, pouring the black beverage halfway in one and almost to the brim in the other.

Leaning against the counter, he waited, knowing that Sanghyeok will be out in a minute or so with a surge of steam following him from the bathroom. 

‘And right on cue,’ he thought as the bathroom door clicked open. He picked up the mug that was almost spilling with coffee and brought it to his mouth, sipping at the hot liquid. 

“Smells so nice,” Sanghyeok groaned, stumbling out of the bathroom, the towel wrapped around his neck and _fuck_ -. Junsik choked on his coffee, slamming his mug down and coughed, his eyes watering. All because Sanghyeok had conveniently forgot to put on a shirt. He doesn’t think that this was the first time he’s seen the guy with less clothes than usual but he also doesn’t think that he looked so…so…distracting? The curve of his neck, his collar bones, his thin waist and flat stomach were exposed in all their glory, and the water droplets that were clinging to his hair did not help any. Everything about him was thin and lanky but he managed to make it look so goddamn gorgeous. Sanghyeok shot him a look for his hacking but didn’t say anything , sipping at the hot drink and sighing with content. 

“Aren’t you, uh-,” he spluttered unimpressively, “aren’t you cold…or something?” 

“Yeah, I forgot to bring a new shirt with me,” Sanghyeok shrugged, seemingly unaware of Junsik’s struggles. He was anything but a prude but this was _Sanghyeok_ , and his eyes were wondering aimlessly, wanting nothing more but to cover him up. “When’s your shift today? Should I meet you afterwards?” he asked, draining his cup. 

“It’s-,” he stopped as soon as he started as Sanghyeok leaned in to put his cup into the sink. His bare torso was just near enough to brush against his hoodie and he promptly forgets how to breath. He leans back away too fast, or too slow, he hasn’t decided yet, but it was a struggle trying to remember that he needs oxygen for his brain to work.

“Uh, yeah, sure, I’ll…text you,” he managed, finally getting his breath back and barely administrating Sanghyeok’s nod as he turned away towards to the bedroom. 

The fact he couldn’t see his face didn’t make it any better; his back wasn’t broad by any means but it somehow managed to look both masculine and delicate nonetheless. The gentle sweep of his back lead to the shallow clefts on either sides of his waist that disappeared into the waistband of his pants. It had his hands itching to reach out and touch for himself where it lead. 

‘Shit, this is too unfair,’ Junsik swallowed, feeling his face flush but feeling no shame at all appreciating the view for as long as he could. Just before the door closes, he hears a muffled guffaw and it’s only after he sees Sanghyeok’s shouldersshaking that he realises he has been played and he has been played _hard_. 

“You sneak little bastard!” he shouts after him and Sanghyeok breaks out into a hearty laughter, doing nothing to quell his astonishment and embarrassment as his face lights up enough to put yesterday’s fireworks to shame. The door slams shut before he can chase after him and he’s left wondering whether the mischievousness runs deep in the family. 

 

§§§

 

It was getting dark on a Saturday night and Junsik only looked up from his book when he realized he had to squint to make out the words. Sanghyeok had left in the morning with a note saying that he won’t be back until late. He yawned, stretching as best as possible on the couch that was too short for him. It’s been a while since he went an entire day without seeing his roommate and he had to admit, he had enjoyed the privacy but he was starting to feel his absence already. 

“When did I become like this,” he wondered woefully, staring up at the ceiling. He glanced at the light switch that was near the TV and decided that it was too far away. ‘Might as well get some shut-eye till he comes back,’ he muttered, putting his book down.Just as he was about to close his eyes for a short nap, the sound of the lock echoed through the silent apartment. 

“Sanghyeok?” 

“Yeah, I’m back,” he replied, toeing off his shoes. He looked downright drained, reflecting how tired he sounded. 

“Did you eat dinner yet?” he asked, frowning at the sagged shoulders as the university student uncharacteristically dropped his bag and his jacket carelessly on the floor.

“No, not yet.” 

“I’ll order something or-.”

“No, wait.” 

Before he could stand up, Sanghyeok slumped down just behind him on to the couch and draped his arms over his shoulder, resting his face on his back. 

“I’m so tired, let me rest just for a bit,” he muttered, the sound muffled by his shirt. Junsik froze, feeling his breath tickle his hair at the nape of his neck. When Sanghyeok didn’t budge, he sighed, resigning himself to being a body pillow for the time being. He relaxed, feeling the steady rise and fall of Sanghyeok’s chest. He marveled at Sanghyeok’s hand, pale enough to be seen in the dark and took them in his own, lowering them from his shoulders and let them rest on his lap. He glanced back and his roommate was without glasses which was a rare occurrence. 

“How was today?” he asked watching as Sanghyeok pulled his legs up. 

“Busy. There was so much disagreement, the meeting went on for so long.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm, I had to stay behind later for the research internship because of that,” Sanghyeok sighed. “How was your day?”

“Just stayed home.”

“I bet you enjoyed having it to yourself all day.”

“Haha! I would be lying if I said I didn’t” he chuckled, feeling Sanghyeok bump his back softly with his head. 

“Now, that’s just mean.”

“I did miss you,” he added. 

“Really?”

“Really,” he reassured, looking back. Sanghyeok met his eyes, still resting his head on his back, and hugged his waist, giving him one of those unguarded smiles that nearly melt him on the spot. He turned, grabbing the wrists of the hands that were clutching at his shirt. With Sanghyeok’s eyes never leaving him, he leaned in until he could see himself reflected in his eyes. 

“This time, it’s definitely your fault,” he muttered, but when was it really not his fault. He was definitely always overestimating his restraint withIgnoring the confused look, he closed the distance between them. Vaguely hearing a surprised gasp escape Sanghyeok, he pressed harder against the pliant lips and oh boy, if it wasn’t as sweet as he remembered them to be. Sanghyeok’s back hit the couch, his elbows pressed down on either side of his head. He started moving his lips slowly and the way Sanghyeok uncertainly responded had his chest bubbling with strange excitement. Supporting himself on one arm, he let his other hand wonder, testing the warm skin beneath the shirt. 

He felt rather than hear the sudden intake of breath and spurred on by the noise, he nipped at his lip, spreading his fingers on the flat stomach. Unperturbed by the Sanghyeok’s tightening grasp on his wrist, he moved his hand higher, caressing the ribs that stood out in his thin stature. He licked at his lower lip, silently asking for permission but as impatient as he was, the moment he hesitantly parted his lips, he explored every nook and cranny of his mouth, and groaned at the barely discernible whimper that escaped the body beneath him. The kiss left both of them short of breath, eyelids heavy with arousal.

‘Shit, shit, shit, shit,’ he swore inwardly, feeling a barely suppressed shudder run through Sanghyeok’s body and a sweet, sweet gasp and he felt like he was a teenager all over again, his pants feeling too tight for comfort. He mouthed along the neck, all the way down to his sternum, pausing only to suck at his adam’s apple and have his toes curled at the groan that it incited. His hands fumbled uncharacteristically with the pants zipper that stubbornly refused to be undone. But when he finally got a proper grip, he had to choke back a moan and doubled over at the thigh pressed firmly between his legs. 

“Fuck,” he hissed and his legs felt a lot weaker than they were just a second ago. Feeling Sanghyeok shift underneath him, he looked up only to have a thrill sent running down his spine at Sanghyeok’s challenging, defiant expression. He grinned at the quirked eyebrow and never the one to back down from a challenge, he ground down harder against the leg, biting his lips to stop any more embarrassing sounds from escaping him. 

“Off,” Sanghyeok whispered, tugging at his shirt, somehow managing to sound demanding at the same time. Happy to oblige, he locked eyes, daring him to look away and grabbed the hem of shirt. He pulled it over his head slowly, taking in gratification at the way his eyes glazed over the more skin he revealed. Impatience getting better of him, he 

“Hey-.”

And damn everything to hell because his blackhole of a stomach chose to let out the loudest grumble the earth has ever heard. 

“…” 

“…”

“…I take it that you’re hungry,” Sanghyeok remarked, his voice taut from holding back a laughter. Junsik groaned into his hand, caught somewhere between frustration and mortification. 

“….yeah,” he mumbled, risking a peek between his fingers, “Is there a secret basement here that I can lock myself in and let myself rot away slowly in shame….” 

Sanghyeok chuckled and Junsik slumped into his abdomen, letting himself find some trace of comfort in the thin hands that ran through his hair. 

“You are a man of a big appetite,” he smiled, poking at his stomach, “in more ways than one.” 

“Shut up,” he muttered, feeling his face heat up and buried his face deeper into his shirt, trying to spare himself from more embarrassment. 

“You know you blush with your ears so that’s not helping.” 

“Shut up.”

Sanghyeok gently pried him off of him, pressed a gentle kiss just below his ear before standing up and straightening up his shirt. He tugged at his hand, his face still full of glee: 

“Come on, let’s order something, I’m getting hungry too.”

 

§§§

 

To say that he felt like his balls were freezing off was an understatement. It was in middle of January, it was _still_ snowing and the pavements were basically a makeshift ice-skating rink. Junsik didn’t think he was alone in his statement; all the students piling out from the university gate looked identical in their cocoon of long coats or huge jumpers. 

‘Always making me wait. The bastard doesn’t have any concept of punctuality,’ he complained to himself, trying to catch Sanghyeok’s face in the sea of university students. It was lunch time and after 4 months, it had never crossed his mind to visit him at his university. But Sanghyeok was graduating soon and he figured that if Sanghyeok could visit him at his workplace, he should at least give it a try. Sanghyeok had responded with an adorable excitement, barely hidden as he rambled on for longer than necessary on how to get there. 

“Junsik!” 

He whipped around, trying to see where his name was being called from. He caught sight of Sanghyeok in the throng and he squinted when he saw another figure standing next to him. He shouldered his way through and when he got close, he barely recognised him. 

“You!”

“Haha! Hey,” the guy laughed boisterously; it was the friend they ran into some time ago.“Sanghyeok’s cousin was it?” 

“Ahhh, damn it. Forget about that please?” Junsik groaned, remembering making a fool of himself. 

“No worries, no worries,” Huni waved him off, still grinning. “So what are you exactly?

“Uh-,” he glanced at Sanghyeok, not wanting to chose the wrong words. But before he could even reply, Sanghyeok cut him to it. 

“Boyfriend,” he said as nonchalantly as they come and Junsik had to keep his eyes from bugging out. 

“Well that makes more sense than cousin,” Huni nodded knowingly. Junsik sighed, knowing that he should be expecting the unexpected from his boyfriend bt now.

“We’re getting lunch, want to tag along?” he grinned wryly. 

“Nah, I don’t want to thirdwheel. I’ll see you around soon enough if you’re dating this guy,” he smirked, elbowing Sanghyeok and giving a nod in his direction. “I’ll see you in school!” 

“See you,” Sanghyeok waved half-heartedly before turning to face him. 

“What was that?” he asked reproachfully.

“Just thought it’d be easier to introduce you as a boyfriend than you know…a friend that I happened to pick up off the streets,” he smiled innocently, an altered recital of what he had said some time ago. Junsik spluttered which only encouraged Sanghyeok’s smile to develop into a full smug grin. 

“You-.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m beginning to feel like I can never win with you,” he grumbled, turning away and started walking. 

“That’s not such a bad thing,” Sanghyeok laughed, jogging to catch up. Junsik glanced at him, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t remain annoyed at his grinning face, flushed with the cold. He huffed, grabbing Sanghyeok’s hand and pulled, slipping their entwined hands into the pocket of his jacket. 

“Come on, let’s go before my balls actually turn blue.” 

 

§§§

 

_2 months later_

 

“Hyung! Over here!” Wangho waved over the crowd, his face standing out amongst all the high school graduates. He nudged Sanghyeok pointing towards Wangho and he visibly perked up at the sight of his brother. They somehow made it through the tight crowd of students and parents, all with their own versions of flower bouquets. They eventually reached the two half-brothers and both of them were engulfed in lung crushing hugs. 

“Congratulations!” Sanghyeok grinned, pride evident in his face. 

“Yeah, congratulations,” he smiled, thrusting the flowers into Wangho’s face who grinned, blushing slightly. 

“Thanks!” he took the flowers, struggling to keep his head above the sea of flowers. 

“Glad you guys could make it,” Junggyun smiled, looking just about to tear up. 

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Sanghyeok ruffled his hair, earning a scowl. “Come on, let’s take a picture, the lunch reservation is in 30 minutes.” 

They were hustled towards the school gate and the four of them stood out amongst all the other family, with a clear lack of parents and all three of them clearly too young to be one. Junsik threw a quick glance at Wangho andhe smiled in secret relief; his grin was just about eat up his face and he was basically radiating sunshine. 

“I’ll bring the car around, just wait by the road in 5 minutes,” Junggyun took off, taking Wangho’s over-abundant number of flowers with him. 

“Hey, I just wanna say bye to my friends, I’ll be right back,” Wangho waved over his shoulder before taking off and it was suddenly just the two of them. The pavement was a significant improvement over the crowd inside the school gates. Sanghyeok’s eyes trailed after Wangho with a melancholic smile on his face that certainly made him look older. 

“Already getting nostalgic old man?” he snickered, watching as his boyfriend jumped. 

“Who are you calling old,” Sanghyeok sniffed, turning away. Junsik laughed, taking his cold hand into his own with practiced ease. Sanghyeok smiled softly in response and Junsik found himself starstruck like he did more often than he would like to admit. 

Sanghyeok noticed his stare and nudged him in the ribs with his elbow, searching his face. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” he smiled, “Just thinking that I lucked out.”

“That’s corny,” Sanghyeok pulled a face.

“Hey, _you_ shouldn’t be saying that,” he grumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sanghyeok responded with feigned innocence and laughed prettily. He leaned in, their shoulders brushing. His body felt too small and too fragile to contain everything he was feeling for the man next to him.

“You are so, incredibly weird, you know that?”

Sanghyeok beamed up at him and he grinned back, gripping the warm hand tighter. 

“I’ve been told.”

 

Yeah, he can work with this. 


End file.
